Saturday, February 22, 2014

What To Watch

A new page is in the works!

Today I developed a movie genre search page, What To Watch, where you can look for horror movies to fit your particular head space (and more).

Although very much in the works, I have several movie titles listed now. Take a look and let us know what you think. Stay tuned for many many more updates.

Thank you!

Sunday, February 9, 2014

Thale (2012)

Woke up to a blanket of snow over the city. This was unusual - but a good reason to celebrate the lovely site by curling up on the couch and doing nothing. While going about my nothingness, and by that I mean scrolling through my Roku channels, I managed to stumble across an intriguing Norwegian film on the Snag Films channel.

At first glance of the cover image I thought this movie might be more geared for children. Then I read the first line in the description: "Norwegian folklore turns out to be real when Leo and Elvis encounter Thale in a basement."



Added bonus, there's a Norwegian dude named Elvis.

From the very beginning Thale moves slowly but deliberately, like someone who appears to be aimlessly but pleasantly moving about a house yet is actually hiding bombs and thumb tacks under pillows and chair seats. The smart and well placed dichotomy through-out the film was one of my favorite elements.

For instance, the opening scene is gross and bloody but that's because the two main characters (Leo and Elvis) were cleaning up the mess. The film is about the woods and nature but most of it takes place in a hidden basement. Science and mythology dance cheek to cheek. All the while the protagonists must contend with scary yet normal, albeit sudden life changes when they meet Thale, a representation of both natural and forced (abnormal) evolution.

Now, as an American with rather deep, recent and powerful Danish and Norwegian roots, I was surprised that I could not - for the life of me - figure out what creature Thale was supposed to be. I grew up on stories, legends, and bad children threats of what I thought were all the Norse creatures. Still, Thale stumped me until the very end. I forced myself not to ask the internets for help until the movie was over. Once the movie ended I pleaded for Wikipedia's advice.

Because I had such a pleasant discovery experience, I am not going to relay what Thale is here. If you already know or find out elsewhere, fine, but I think the element of surprise plays a rather powerful role in this film.

Thale is a lovely, suspenseful film, and I believe a bit of an ode to the beauty of mystical creatures. Not over-the-top scary but down-right-chilly. Goes well with snow, warmth, a good friend, and perhaps a fine ale from Odin's Brewing Company. Well done, Thale.

To get you started, here is the movie trailer:

Thursday, February 6, 2014

Beast From Haunted Cave (1959)

This 1950's black and white classic holds a very, very special place in my heart. Not only is it filmed in the Black Hills of South Dakota, my home state, but it also has a hilariously inaccurate and uncomfortably long tag line: "Screaming young girls sucked into a labyrinth of horror by a blood-starved ghoul from Hell".  I really love this so-wrong-it's-right film.

I've been looking for a good movie to give my first All GIF review to - Beast From Haunted Cave should be good. But let's iron out a few things first:

#1: No young girls are sucked into a labyrinth of horror.
#2: A few walk in voluntarily.
#3: There is no evidence to conclude the monster is blood-starved.
#4: It's a spider thing, not a far as I can see.
#5: The ghoul is not from Hell - it lives in a cave and is most likely a lost ancient arachnid that just needs a hug.
#6: The cave, young girls, ghoul, and Hell all play rather minor roles in the film.
#7: This movie is actually about money, sex, and power.
#8: The cave is not haunted.

Now that we got that out there - let the GIF party begin!

The movie begins and it looks like it has promise!

But within a few seconds I get confused by the Fear-Freezing Suspense... WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

Then there is a bunch of people skiing:

Enter criminals, unawares there is more than just gold in them there hills:

The criminals, one being The Girlfriend, immediately begin arguing. In fact, that is what they do through the entire film. They "fight" over drinks, singing, gold, snow, gold-stealing plans, people's attention:

Me, at this point:

Plans are made for gold thievery. None of which make a whole lot of sense:

Thieving plans involve taking unsuspecting people into the woods. That's when things begin to get ugly...

Enter: Beast From Haunted Cave!

Actually, it's more like this:

Monster does monster business:

And then suddenly, the monster's reign of terror is over:

And now, The Beast From Haunted Cave is added to your Favorite Movies of All Time List:

You're welcome.
Pairs best with anyone and anything silly.

In fact, you can watch is now for free through the Internet Archive!!