Sunday, February 22, 2015

Night Breed (1990) Director's Cut

You guys.

Night Breed is a wild and crazy things blowing up monsters EVERYWHERE roller coaster over-the-top what is happening?!? film. That's important to know right off the bat.

This is also a comeon, really? Wait. Hold up. What? film.

Night Breed starts off with a fantastic display of Super Scary, then cleverly slides right into smart story line (complete with lovable cheese scenes), and suddenly hurls you into a plot twist after plot twist after plot twist that changes the film (and your experience of it) from then on. In all, the first quarter of the film is the slow but intimidating climb up the roller coaster tracks. Once the hump is crested after the first quarter of the movie, throw all expectations out the window and hold on.

I had a really good time watching this demon horror show up until the end. By the end I was a little exhausted (see roller coaster ride), and just couldn't buy the story any more. That said I've not yet seen the original release of the film - only the directors cut. I'm actually partial to Non-director cuts (scandalously) actually...just sayin...

If you are in the mood for a fun blood bath in a pool full of some nasty ass demons then this is one for you! You might want to partake in a few libations before seeing this film. I watched it in the middle of the afternoon, completely sober - this may not have been the best idea. I took it too seriously... I think.

I'm not even going to try and summarize what this film is about - just know it's All About Demons.

This might be a great film for Camp-Only horror fans, but this is certainly a good one for Hard-Core horror fans. A great fit for a group or alone, this unique wild and wacky show is well done despite its over-the-topness.

Recommended pairings: Late night, wear something comfortable but you'd be embarrassed to be seen in OR something with a hilarious stain or picture on it. Wear these loud and proud. Food: goo-filled pastries or a huge pile of greasy pizza. Drink: cheep booze that spawns happy memories or room temperature water in a big glass.

Saturday, February 21, 2015

Moon of the Wolf (1972)

I have the house to myself all day today, and that means horror movie watching. All. Day.

I spent about two hours browsing my Roku channels, creating a list of movies I hope to cram into my sunny Saturday.

My first pick was the made-for-TV movie: Moon of the Wolf. Although I despise the surprisingly tongue-twisty title, I was intrigued by the movie poster:

I mean, just look at the creepy ass wolf face! So, based on the cover alone I decided I would give this one a try.

Synopsis: In a small Louisiana town people are getting killed by a mysterious creature and everyone wants to know whodoneit.

It's an okay movie. It's not terrible, but it's also not frightening in any way shape or form. Rather, it's a good movie to put on for the background noise of your sunny Saturday afternoon. You look up at it every now and then, nod, and carry-on with your business.

It felt very Silver Bullet (movie) to me - there's more mystery than anything else until the semi-anticlimactic end and yet you're mildly amused and kinda sorta wanna talk about it to someone who wasn't paying attention to the movie at all. That's how Moon of the Wolf came off to me.

I really don't have much else for you because, surprisingly, that last paragraph there sums up this odd but charming little film in its entirety.

Recommended pairing: lemonade, a sunny afternoon setting, have some light chores to work on while watching. In fact, thanks to the Internet Archive, you can watch it now!

Saturday, February 7, 2015

Misery (1990)

Earlier this week I decided to finally read Stephen King's book: Misery.

Half way through the book I rushed over to Rain City Video and rented the movie, Misery. I just had to watch it again.

I was enjoying the book immensely and I hadn't seen the movie in years, so in all my brilliance I thought it would be a wise idea to watch this horror show while I still in the midst of it in the book. 

Ladies and gentlemen, this was a mistake because what I ultimately did was OVERDOSE on a whole lot of misery. 

The story line for both the book and the movie is so brilliant it's frightening - On Top Of It Already Being So Frightening! 

Synopsis: A famous author is in a car wreck. He is saved but also held captive by his #1 fan. The only thing keeping him alive is his ability to continue feeding This Completely Insane and Very Dangerous "nurse" snippets from the new book she is forcing him to write. 


But also: 

I understood the gravity of my mistake of watching the film while still reading the book when I returned to the book the next day and realized that I would have to relive the horror show all over again. On top of that, everyone knows that a book is more graphic and detailed than a movie so I also had that fun to look forward too... 

Lesson Learned!

Although the movie deviates from the book it doesn't deviate much (as far as the main plot goes), and I honestly love this movie just about as much as I'm loving the book. I'm just going to have to love it from a distance after I finish these last couple chapters because too much man, too much. 

The movie is very well done in all its shapes and sizes, and you'll be sure to curl up and cry a little with the captive author. You'll also likely reevaluate your presumed definitions of "a crazy person". 

And that's it. I need a really long hot shower or something now.

Suggested pairing: Hot hot hot soup. Keep your feet tucked under you. 

scared animated GIF