Night Breed (1990) Director's Cut

You guys.

Night Breed is a wild and crazy things blowing up monsters EVERYWHERE roller coaster over-the-top what is happening?!? film. That's important to know right off the bat.

This is also a comeon, really? Wait. Hold up. What? film.

Night Breed starts off with a fantastic display of Super Scary, then cleverly slides right into smart story line (complete with lovable cheese scenes), and suddenly hurls you into a plot twist after plot twist after plot twist that changes the film (and your experience of it) from then on. In all, the first quarter of the film is the slow but intimidating climb up the roller coaster tracks. Once the hump is crested after the first quarter of the movie, throw all expectations out the window and hold on.

I had a really good time watching this demon horror show up until the end. By the end I was a little exhausted (see roller coaster ride), and just couldn't buy the story any more. That said I've not yet seen the original release of the film - only the directors cut. I'm actually partial to Non-director cuts (scandalously) actually...just sayin...

If you are in the mood for a fun blood bath in a pool full of some nasty ass demons then this is one for you! You might want to partake in a few libations before seeing this film. I watched it in the middle of the afternoon, completely sober - this may not have been the best idea. I took it too seriously... I think.

I'm not even going to try and summarize what this film is about - just know it's All About Demons.

This might be a great film for Camp-Only horror fans, but this is certainly a good one for Hard-Core horror fans. A great fit for a group or alone, this unique wild and wacky show is well done despite its over-the-topness.

Recommended pairings: Late night, wear something comfortable but you'd be embarrassed to be seen in OR something with a hilarious stain or picture on it. Wear these loud and proud. Food: goo-filled pastries or a huge pile of greasy pizza. Drink: cheep booze that spawns happy memories or room temperature water in a big glass.

Moon of the Wolf (1972)

I have the house to myself all day today, and that means horror movie watching. All. Day.

I spent about two hours browsing my Roku channels, creating a list of movies I hope to cram into my sunny Saturday.

My first pick was the made-for-TV movie: Moon of the Wolf. Although I despise the surprisingly tongue-twisty title, I was intrigued by the movie poster:

I mean, just look at the creepy ass wolf face! So, based on the cover alone I decided I would give this one a try.

Synopsis: In a small Louisiana town people are getting killed by a mysterious creature and everyone wants to know whodoneit.

It's an okay movie. It's not terrible, but it's also not frightening in any way shape or form. Rather, it's a good movie to put on for the background noise of your sunny Saturday afternoon. You look up at it every now and then, nod, and carry-on with your business.

It felt very Silver Bullet (movie) to me - there's more mystery than anything else until the semi-anticlimactic end and yet you're mildly amused and kinda sorta wanna talk about it to someone who wasn't paying attention to the movie at all. That's how Moon of the Wolf came off to me.

I really don't have much else for you because, surprisingly, that last paragraph there sums up this odd but charming little film in its entirety.

Recommended pairing: lemonade, a sunny afternoon setting, have some light chores to work on while watching. In fact, thanks to the Internet Archive, you can watch it now!

Misery (1990)

Earlier this week I decided to finally read Stephen King's book: Misery.

Half way through the book I rushed over to Rain City Video and rented the movie, Misery. I just had to watch it again.

I was enjoying the book immensely and I hadn't seen the movie in years, so in all my brilliance I thought it would be a wise idea to watch this horror show while I still in the midst of it in the book. 

Ladies and gentlemen, this was a mistake because what I ultimately did was OVERDOSE on a whole lot of misery. 

The story line for both the book and the movie is so brilliant it's frightening - On Top Of It Already Being So Frightening! 

Synopsis: A famous author is in a car wreck. He is saved but also held captive by his #1 fan. The only thing keeping him alive is his ability to continue feeding This Completely Insane and Very Dangerous "nurse" snippets from the new book she is forcing him to write. 

BRILLIANT

But also: 

I understood the gravity of my mistake of watching the film while still reading the book when I returned to the book the next day and realized that I would have to relive the horror show all over again. On top of that, everyone knows that a book is more graphic and detailed than a movie so I also had that fun to look forward too... 

Lesson Learned!

Although the movie deviates from the book it doesn't deviate much (as far as the main plot goes), and I honestly love this movie just about as much as I'm loving the book. I'm just going to have to love it from a distance after I finish these last couple chapters because too much man, too much. 

The movie is very well done in all its shapes and sizes, and you'll be sure to curl up and cry a little with the captive author. You'll also likely reevaluate your presumed definitions of "a crazy person". 

And that's it. I need a really long hot shower or something now.

Suggested pairing: Hot hot hot soup. Keep your feet tucked under you. 

The Babadook (2014)

This was a very much anticipated film in my friends and family circle.

Very. Much. Anticipated.

So when all interested parties finally had a free night, we gathered to share this movie watching experience together, in a penthouse, on the water.

You read right: we watched The Babadook in a penthouse on the water. I did not see this coming - neither did my two friends, a married couple who came into possession of such a gem by happenstance, kindness, and a knowing the right people.

I had envisioned watching this movie in the hobbit hole that is our home, or even in my brother's spooky ass building, but nope. We watched this movie in style.

Everyone came a way with a different perspective of the film than anticipated. Some thought they would like it quite a bit and ended up liking it A Lot, others visa versa. I'm in the latter category. 

First, the penthouse was distracting (in a good way) - but that's not the movie's fault so, actually, you can just scratch that view.  The cinematography was very impressive, but my husband couldn't stop complaining about the color usage so that interfered with my viewing pleasure a bit. And although I thought I would be rooting for the mother and child in the film, the character of the child became so incredibly annoying (this character aspect is intentional) that I began to root for the babadook. 

This movie surprised in ways that I didn't think it would, but I also had a few conflicting emotions roaming about my head while watching it so that was a surprise in itself.

This is a very good film, very good. BUT there were elements (both in the film and out) that I could and could not put my finger on that left me feeling less satisfied than anticipated. 

I think this movie would be best appreciated it you watched it alone with no interruptions and in your comfort space. I say this even though this movie is all about having your comfort space violated and living in a constant state of distraction. 

Again, the cinematography and scenery is very impressive. I love the mood lighting, color usage, and set design. The writing is bone-chillingly clever, and the acting is so good it may bring out a bit of parental madness in you. 

If you are a single parent of an abnormally troublesome child then you have my deepest sympathies. You may not have to watch this film, as your are probably already living it.

If you are not a single parent of an abnormally troublesome child then crawl on up into your happy movie watching place, late at night, alone, and prepare to experience something that will bring back some of those monsters under the bed nightmares from your youth. 

Jug Face (2013)

Ah, another day of sleeping in till 9:00 AM, slowly roll out of bed ... and immediately watch a horror film.

Jug Face has been taunting me with it's ugly mug for a while now. Seeing as Netflix is going to cut it loose from its streaming options by the end of this month, I figured it was now or never.

Somehow it seemed it appropriate that I watch this one in the kitchen, barefoot, and baking. Baking actual homemade bread, that is. There are and happily never will be any other types of buns+ovens in this house. Nope. But I'm getting off topic here...

SO! Like I said, there I was, barefoot, in the kitchen baking some bread, watching Jug Face.

I can absolutely see why this film has been widely applauded and criticized. There are sharp, smart, and cleverly creepy elements in the acting, cinematography, writing, and character development. Unfortunately, there are also some plot holes and cheesy supernatural scenes (particularly with a ghost). I did not find these scenes overwhelming or a distraction from the film as a whole - I simply made a sad face and moved on.

Throughout the film I found myself grumbling at organized religions as a whole, I see most of them as the bully to progress and self respect, but Jug Face pulled a fast one on me as the movie was coming to close. I found I could no longer grumble at their particular religious customs (per se), but rather at the greater significance of the creature in the pit.

This movie brought to mind the 2010 Canadian film, The Shrine. They share some similar arguments for/against back-wood community religions.

I like those little plot twists, I guess you can say that I appreciate when my grumbling can be redirected then broken and disseminated into more diverse perspectives.

This is a damn fine disturbing and thought-provoking film. I'm glad I finally saw it. This is not a film for everyone though... please keep that in mind should you venture into this crazy little community. You're going to have to keep an open mind (see also: religions).

Recommended pairing: opossum or squirrel meat sandwiches. Homemade booze. You could also watch this while standing up in the kitchen, leaning against the sink, smoking a cigarette and drinking a breakfast beer. OR pack yourself a picnic and watch it outside, preferably alone and in the woods.