Zoombies (2016)

One of my best friends recently sent me a link to an Independent article titled: Enjoyment of Trash Films Linked to High Intelligence, Study Finds. Adding "Hugs, lovely and intelligent lady!"

I've since seen this article running wild in my horror movie communities. We fellow horror movie fans all knew this, it's just nice that science is finally catching up.

Speaking of science, friends, and horror movies. I've been receiving cyber hugs, real hugs, and all the love a girl could ask for because this Spring and Summer has been trying to take me down! I'm going to get heavy here for a moment but stick with me. I'm going to tie some dark news with a movie about zombie zoo animals in a sec, and it's going to be awesome.

In June my Mom passed away suddenly. A peaceful but sudden heart attack in her sleep. This was devastating to me - to my whole family and to the world that loved her. Then in July I was diagnosed with a rare cancer of the ear. A Middle Ear Carcinoid. An alien looking tumor so rare I can honestly say without any hint of irony or exaggeration: I'm Literally One In A Million. And that's when I just about lost it - but I didn't.

Instead, I focused on celebrating Mom's life and my great memories with her while also finding uncanny and ass kicking similarities with myself as Ripley battling the Queen Alien. I had my moments, though. Moments where I felt my soul was mostly crushed. Mostly.

I embraced those moments, let them go and then turned to people I loved and trusted. I turned to listening to my inner self. I turned to science and learning as much as I could about this cancer anomaly. I also turned to movies: Really Really Really Really bad movies. And I loved every single second of them.

Zoombies is one of those films. I've chosen to write about Zoombies because of it's deliberate attempt to "borrow" Jurassic Park themes - a movie that resonates super great memories of Mom and my brothers - and also because I feel this type of film is exactly what the article is talking about. Bonus: it's also entertaining, even if you didn't have a totally traumatic Spring and Summer.

The movie is about a massive theme park dedicated to giving visitors the ultimate zoo experience. Unfortunately a virus breaks out and turns all the animals into zombies critters with the ability to break out of their cages and wreak havoc. Man plans, God laughs.

This was a fun film.

I appreciated the almost extinct sexuality or nudity scenes. I get tired of that in campy horror films sometimes. Not that I'm against it, I just find it boring and eye-roll inducing 60% of the time. Particularly if the scenes are completely unoriginal, which they are, 60% of the time.

I did appreciate the superfluous action scenes, though. The choice of zombie zoo creatures are exceptionally hilarious/entertaining/shocking. You'll never look at a koala the same again.

The blood and guts are pretty much as you would expect, all over the place and absolutely ridiculous. Funny thing about campy horror: gory scenes equal bellowing laughter. As the article states: "At first glance it seems paradoxical that someone should deliberately watch badly made, embarrassing and sometimes even disturbing films, and take pleasure in them." Paradoxical indeed, that's precisely why I'm laughing.

Acting and dialog is all rather run-of-the-mill - full of puns, wit, humor, sarcasm, but also with more heart than I was expecting. Straight up this is a delightful film, particularly if campy horror is your thing.

In all, I recommend this film if you need to escape for a while. Not escape to get away from current issues, not escape to hide from what you must face, but to escape from taking yourself too seriously - so that you can face a sometimes really terrifying future with a chuckle in your gut.

Which brings me to the end of this review, but I wanted to share something from another best friend who sent it to me, adding: "This interpretation of "Row Row Row Your Boat" reminds me of you because you have a gift in how you interpret life." I strongly encourage you all to take a moment and check it out:

Oh, and good news - science says I should be cancer free by October. Peace, Love, and Horror movies everyone! Take care of each other, I recommend gathering together for 'trash' horror film night. XO

I saw this movie on Netflix, or use the links under Find It. Watch It. on Horror Habit's side bar to locate where else you can find this side-tickler of a creature feature.

OMG! Oh My Guts (Short Horror Film, 2016)

You guys, this year has been crazy for me. And I mean CRAZY. I mean downright unbelievably insane, heartbreaking, stressful, and jaw-dropping. Just when I have a moment to breathe, more inconceivable news comes slamming down the door with a battling ram that looks like it was forged by the Boltons.

There's good news though. This too shall pass. The crazy will stop and things will resume back to normal. In the mean time though I ask for no pity, only a lot of ice cold IPA beers, a healthy portion of everyone's lottery winnings, and a future that will make me laugh and laugh and laugh.

Which brings me to a devilishly hilarious little short horror film that Dima Levanchuk brought to my attention recently: OMG! (Oh My Guts).

Unbeknownst to Dima and crew, I watched this little film a day before I was scheduled for a fairly serious surgery. So imagine my much needed laughter bubbling up as this short opened in what appears to be an operating room. (My desire to laugh and laugh and laugh already well on it's way. Excellent).

Also unbeknownst to Dima and crew, this short was filmed across the street from my work place, and stars fellow Seattle residents! You guys, when it feels like your world is falling apart a little bit, coincidences like these just makes my heart happy. 

More things that make my heart happy: this short film was inspired in part by the meat section in a grocery store. 

You're my kind of people Dima Levanchuk and Hilary Gray. 

So, without further ado, please take 3 minutes out of your day to enjoy this gruesome sidesplitter. You'll thank me for it. I know I thank Dima and Hilary for it! Also, please take some time to read this write-up about the story, production, and crew: http://moviepilot.com/posts/3973449.

See, your day is better already, isn't :)

Take care everyone! Thanks Dima and crew! And thanks for your patience while I machete my way through this mess that is 2016. Please have beers and winning lottery tickets ready when I come out the other side!

***Note - as of a couple hours ago, after I typed this up, I just received coloring books in the mail. Coloring books for adults. Coloring books with swear words. AND a coloring book dedicated to Game of Thrones!!! If winning lottery tickets are not immediately available I will happy accept swearing or GOT coloring books.***

Moth (2016)

I had the privilege of being contacted by writer, director, and actor József Gallai recently, and he asked if I could take a look at his upcoming feature film, Moth, a (sometimes) found footage film about a search for the Mothman.

He had me at 'Mothman'. 

I am a fan of Mothman mythology, and by that I mean when I hear this creature's name I am mentally transported to another place and time where I Must Learn More About This Thing Right Now. Well, that and I think it makes great horror story fodder. We simply don't see enough Mothman in horror movies. For me, the Mothman is right up there with the Wendigo. Super scary creatures, super nightmarish folklore, super not enough presence in horror films.

In any case, when he asked if I could review his film I was more than happy to do so. I was not disappointed.

First and foremost - and to my great pleasure - this is a Heady Hungarian Horror film. 

• Heady: in that this movie will require the same patience and abstract thought usually reserved for blood draining dramas and thrillers. 
• Hungarian: Moth is also filmed predominantly in Hungary. In remote Hungarian woods. Let me stress this: remote Hungarian woods. I'm already frightened. If you haven't yet read Algernon Blackwood's short story The Willows then you're not frightened of remote Hungarian woods enough.
• Horror: There is horror in the classic running-from-monsters sense, and then there is yet more horror here that I can assure you will not see coming but you'll likely need some hugs after experiencing. I use the word 'experiencing' on purpose.

Although filmed in Hungary, written, directed, and staring Hungarians, this film is entirely in English. I'm still not sure how to process this. Being so used to watching foreign films with subtitles (or overdubbed. Overdubbing makes me very sad, so very sad.) I was a taken back a bit by this choice. But I liked it. As a native English speaker I found this to be a striking and vibrant choice. I think the slight accents actually drew me into the characters more. I dare say they  made me unsure of where I was in relation to comfortable settings. Pitch perfect for a horror movie. I'm not sure if this makes me embarrassingly American but I really have no choice but to roll with how much I was impressed by this choice.

Simply put, Moth is a complicated movie, coincidentally (or not) not unlike the Mothman mythology. This is also a movie that will require you to pay attention Every Second of the way. I found myself having to backup a few times because I looked away for Just For A Moment! This movie will require your full attention at all times. You'll be punished by depriving yourself of the full movie experience if you do not listen to this public service announcement. 

The two main characters (you'll only see three others, for moments) made me very very very very very uncomfortable. I loved it. There is a dynamic here that I don't recall seeing in any other horror film. Their connection is uncomfortably uncomfortable - and then they went and threw some remote Hungarian woods into the Mothman mix. Horror story is at full boil. 

In all, the setting, the characters, and the story line are blood-chillingly unique. In totality there is such an abundance of strange, surreal, and unsettling that it's difficult to categorize this type of horror story. Be satisfied that it's something you've never quite seen before. 

And now I would like to take a brief moment (because that's all my heart can take) to talk about a major element in this film that sent me crawling up the walls in terror: the sound effects. Holy. Hell. I was actually recoiling at these sounds. Recoiling AND climbing the walls. 

The sound effects in Moth are Awesome. 

I doubt if anyone has done proper research into what a Mothman would actually sound like but my bet is on the sound effects in this movie. Wow. 

I guess I would like to conclude this review of a movie that is likely going to create a new horror niche with this: I'm pretty sure you've never seen anything like it. Also, it's very terrifying but not always in the way you think. You get the Mothman, you get naturally scary settings (i.e., remote Hungarian woods, strange people), but you also get something far more sinister - and that's probably the scariest part. That scariest part will take time to digest, however, and that's why I'm thinking this movie will be a front running for a new horror niche.

Moth will be released around the end of 2016 via DVD and VOD. It had it's U.S. premier on June 12, 2016 at the Horror Hotel International Film Festival in Cleveland, OH.  You can learn more about Moth here: https://www.facebook.com/moththemovie, and please take a moment to watch the trailer here!

Pairs with tattered blankets, a half bottle full of water, and a dark lonely night when the lights are flickering.

Thank you so much József Gallai and team for giving me this opportunity! You have something really original here, best of luck to you and the success of Moth.

Anna (Short Horror Film, 2014)

Over the years I have developed the habit of catching up on the latest, greatest, and goriest in the horror world by watching trailers and short films while on my bus ride into the office in the mornings.

We're talking like, oh, 6:30 AM morning.

And the buses have become more crowded as our city swells.

And I thought it was a good idea to buy a smart phone with a Gigantic screen...

I was recently contacted by Matthew of the Forte brother duo, Matthew and Kevin. Matthew asked if I could take a look at two of their works from the Forte Films Entertainment company. Happy to do so, I proceeded to watch their 2014 short film, Anna. At 6:30 in the morning. In a standing room only bus. With my large-screened phone.

Now, I have absolutely no problem plugging in the headphones and watching gut-wrenching gory films at 6:30 in the morning. But I am sensitive to the fact that my morning commuter companions might not be so interested. Especially if roughly five of them are squished up beside me and have no choice because the bus is so full they can't even move their heads. This short horror film is in fact the very first one I had to turn off while on my morning commute.

This short is jam packed with BRUTAL. I could not expose my unsuspecting traveling companions to this (jumping to conclusions that they are not all horror fans). But the fact that I did this - abruptly and almost apologetically turning off the phone, quite possibly making a big deal out of it due to a lack of space - stuck with me for days. Days.

Later I watched the full film in the comfort of my own home. And STILL this film will stick with me for days, years, a lifetime. Reason being is that this short is not only full of Not Morning Commute Suitable gore (to be honest, even I was a bit shocked at what I saw that morning), but also because the story line is riddled with heart breaking social commentary. Devastating, painful, real, honestly brutal social commentary.

This short is about a zombie with an eating disorder.

I wonder still if viewers will chuckle a little at that statement. But the film is not funny, nor the social commentary behind it. And although this plot line is the backbone to the story, the rest of the short is inundated with all the various issues tied to eating disorders and other terrors facing so many people. Such as heart break, loneliness, insecurity, self identity, depression, and the list goes on.

THAT'S SCARY STUFF

But I love how horror movies - full length and short - can bring all that right to the surface. Where it needs to be. Horrifying that it is.

I encourage you to watch this film. However! Please note that it addresses many aspects of human complexity that can be hard for some. Viewer discretion is advised.

Now, Anna is not the only thing I saw from the Forte Films Entertainment company! I also watched the pilot for their new project The Sin Reapers. This takes an entirely different tone than Anna, and frankly I wanted to keep this plug dedicated mostly to Anna because it's a complete film where as The Sin Reapers is web series still in the works.

This series is focused on the spirits of the dead seeking out the assistance of 'sin reapers' who bring justice for the untimely deaths of the innocent. Great Idea! Really great idea!

This one is an interesting endeavor to check out, and it appears to me that The Sin Reapers is in it's beginning stages. But it's going places, folks. Particularly if the innovative rawness and brutality that was attached to Anna is brought here. I see some aspects where it was applied but it still felt as if something was held back. What that something is/was I'm still struggling with. Perhaps I simply didn't feel uncomfortable enough? I was certainly uncomfortable at points.

The Sin Reapers can and should take off. It's received a lot of positive attention and I understand why. Strong premise, original, effective use of space and lighting, but the limits I felt here can and I think should be crossed. No doubt the Forte brothers know how to do this. Lastly, and I can't quite let this go, the ghostly face make-up did not fool me. The sin reapers' make-up on the other hand was excellent.

Now, for your viewing pleasure, check out the first episode of the The Sin Reapers here:

Go get'em you guys. You  have a great short film here and the makings of a very chilling series. I look forward to seeing more!

Green Room (2015)

It's taken me over a week to type up a review for Green Room. I struggled with where to start, what to focus on. That is until I accepted the fact that I'll probably just word vomit and swear a little on this one. In any case, here we go!

First and foremost, this is a goretastic horror film! Absolutely cringe-inducing madness. If it's not already enough horror having dumb ass skinheads running amok, there are dogs here too. Very very very bad dogs.

Premise: A punk band finds they're playing at the wrong show, man. The very wrong show.

There are things about this movie that really tugged at my heart strings though, believe it or not. It takes place in the Pacific Northwest, remote Oregon. As a fellow Pacific Northwesterner this brought out my I Love Camping Here feels.  Additionally, I spent the better part of my 20's going to way too many music shows, traveling with my lead singer boyfriend at the time, and hanging out in nasty, sweaty green rooms. There I was pretty much doing nothing but drinking PBR and getting in the way of band members just trying to get their gear in the door. Such fond, fond memories.

But I've grown up now, preferring to stay home on weekend nights plotting the next couch fort, changed my beers from PBR to fancy pants independent brewery IPAs, and married another musical man who routinely plays Youth of Today, Judge, Gorilla Biscuits, and lost his toenail in a mosh pit a couple years back. In all, watching this film brought out smiles in me where I really did not expect them. Not with this film.

Which brings me to where the smiles stopped and a the EEEGADS began. I saw a news clip where Patrick Stewart, who plays a very very very scary dude in this film, said that as he was reading the script he had to stop and pour himself a glass of whiskey in order to resume. I knew this before going into the film - which is a little bit why my brother and I chose to watch Green Room at the local Sundance theater (you can drink there).

As the superb tension began to mount, I turned to my brother and said, "I'm getting another beer. You need another beer to. I'm getting us both another beer right now." The timing was perfect.

There are visuals here that will likely stick with you for a long time. They are shocking and downright a bloody mess. Excellent horror. This movie is insane, the people are insane, the killings are insane, and in all you'll likely walk out of the theater with a cold feeling.

Green Room is a very smart, sharp, and disturbing film. Not only disturbing because of the nature of the film, but also because people like this exist in the real world - making this place worse because of their existence. I'm looking at you white supremacists, you can fuck right the fuck off.

Recommended pairing: PBR and hold on tight.

I'm not sure of this movie is still in theaters, but if it is where you are then I highly recommend seeing it on the big screen for the full Terror experience. Or use the links under Find It. Watch It. on Horror Habit's side bar to locate where else you can find this feature when it becomes available.