Wednesday, February 27, 2019

Greta (2018)

Last night I attended my first movie screening! I felt so fancy.

Bonus: this movie was showing in the same movie theater where I obtained my first job after I moved to Seattle (over 20 years ago). The early 20 somethings behind the concession counter were not as impressed with this knowledge as I was sharing it with them (repeatably, they serve beer there now).

Let me introduce you to: Greta


I walked into this screening with very, very little knowledge of what I was walking into - and I was pleasantly shocked and surprised. 

This movie begins with a young woman finding a handbag on the train and, with a pure heart, hand-delivers it to the owner at her home. Things get wildly out of hand from there. 

Now, see - well. I totally and immediately understood this young woman because I kinda sorta did the same thing once. Instead of a handbag through, I found a bunch of unopened mail (important stuff, checks, etc) all scattered in the middle of the early morning street. Several different addresses all over the neighborhood. 

Like this poor young woman, I too made a TERRIBLE MISTAKE in my good nature attempt. Instead of just putting the mail in the mailbox down the street, I decided to hand-deliver the mail back to the owners. 

DO NOT DO THIS
NEVER DO THIS
NO

I have absolutely no idea why I didn't just pop the mail into the street corner mailbox and instead hike through the neighborhood in the scorching hot afternoon to do this ridiculous thing, but I think it was lack of coffee, the terrible heat, and a healthy dose of stupidity. 

Turned out all those addresses didn't exist anymore (new buildings being built) and I wasted a lot - a lot of time and energy - and what I did was likely illegal. After nearly an hour of walking around and failing at every address, I popped all that mail into the nearest mailbox and walk of shamed myself to the nearest pub.

I share this little story as a cautionary tale for anyone who finds mail in the street. JUST PUT IT IN THE MAILBOX. And.... also because several simple, bad decisions and unbelievable moments occurred in this film and it might make you groan but hear me out: roll with it, it helps with the entertainment of the film. Just as I hope my self-humiliating little story entertained you. You'll ask yourself, "why would anyone do this? No one would actually do that" and that's fine, just let the few but striking suspension of disbelief moments take you for a joy ride.

I found this film to be a fast-paced slow burner. There's one scene in particular, after a lot of quiet activity, where the fully packed theater jumped. While there are other fast cringe-binge moments that will have you curling back into your seat. 

This is also a bad ass film with a karate kick to the face ending. 

The theater clapped at the end. I always found that weird but even *I* clapped. Back when I worked at this same theater in 1997, one of my jobs was to wear a bow-tie but also to assess the crowds during the trailers and report back to management on the crowd's reaction to each preview. 

I'm going to do the same here, for Greta:

Entertained, talked loudly and excitedly at the end, laughed at moments. Jumped at scenes. Seemed to like it.

Fun, frightful, and fancy - watch this thriller/killer with one of your best friends. I watched it with one of mine (my brother is awesome and took the photo below). Pairs with French food and bottles of booze that you can break in case you need to fight someone. 

Take care everyone, and enjoy the film! (and don't hand deliver stranger's mail OR handbags).