Sunday, March 16, 2014

Dark Night of the Scarecrow (1981)

Recently, my husband and I were talking about movies that had a significant impact on our the-world-is-safe-and-wonderful psyche as a child. Mine was Gremlins. Gremlins ruined me for a long time. My parents, as well as so many others, took their children to see what they thought was a movie about cute and furry mogwis only to end up up stuck with hordes of screaming children who were convinced Gremlin eggs were hatching under their beds every night.

He did not have this experience, instead, at the age of 7 he came down with a nasty fever on Halloween night and was nestled in front of the made-for-TV movie, Dark Night of the Scarecrow. With a fever so high that he was hallucinating (his hands felt like two balloons), for some reason his family thought this show would make him feel better. Instead he sat terrified and learned about bigots, revenge, and executions.


This was a sad story to hear, and yet when he walked out of the room I immediately turned to Amazon and bought the movie.

When the DVD arrived, his eyebrows rose and I said excitedly, "Let's watch it!" To my surprise, I did not win any Awesome Wife points that day.

Several weeks later he finally agreed to watch the movie again, for the first time in over 30 years.

He remembered a surprising amount of the film, and I was pretty dumb struck. Although fairly low-budget and cheeky at times, the moral of the story came through loud and proud. The horror/monsters of this film, like so many that are geared for kids, was not under the bed or in the closet (teaching how to not be afraid of those places), but in the heads of adults - people children should learn to both trust and fear. This movie is also what I call an everyday horror movie, where the horror of the film happens everywhere, all the time, still.

Dark Night of the Scarecrow, a rather sad film with a bitter sweet ending, is frightful for children and adults. I advise watching this with a small group or alone. I'm not a huge fan of movie ratings (e.g., PG-13, R, etc.) because I don't trust the business behind it, but there is a place for judging when and when not to show certain movies to children where the expectations are off (see also my Gremlins experience).

If you believe you're children will understand the consequences for being a complete asshole message, and are ready to not be afraid of ghosts, then this will be a good one for you. If not, give it time. If you're in the mood for a chilling ghost story about revenge, then this one will be a good one for you. If you're simply mean to people and know it then I recommend changing your ways, stat.

In the end, my husband was glad he saw it again (getting monsters out of the closet), I'm glad I saw it with him (learning).

Recommended pairing: love, your favorite drink, and any dish that scares you a little bit because of a bad experience in the past.

Saturday, February 22, 2014

What To Watch

A new page is in the works!

Today I developed a movie genre search page, What To Watch, where you can look for horror movies to fit your particular head space (and more).

Although very much in the works, I have several movie titles listed now. Take a look and let us know what you think. Stay tuned for many many more updates.

Thank you!

Sunday, February 9, 2014

Thale (2012)

Woke up to a blanket of snow over the city. This was unusual - but a good reason to celebrate the lovely site by curling up on the couch and doing nothing. While going about my nothingness, and by that I mean scrolling through my Roku channels, I managed to stumble across an intriguing Norwegian film on the Snag Films channel.

At first glance of the cover image I thought this movie might be more geared for children. Then I read the first line in the description: "Norwegian folklore turns out to be real when Leo and Elvis encounter Thale in a basement."

WHO DOESN'T LOVE NORWEGIAN FOLKLORE!?

Sold.

Added bonus, there's a Norwegian dude named Elvis.


From the very beginning Thale moves slowly but deliberately, like someone who appears to be aimlessly but pleasantly moving about a house yet is actually hiding bombs and thumb tacks under pillows and chair seats. The smart and well placed dichotomy through-out the film was one of my favorite elements.

For instance, the opening scene is gross and bloody but that's because the two main characters (Leo and Elvis) were cleaning up the mess. The film is about the woods and nature but most of it takes place in a hidden basement. Science and mythology dance cheek to cheek. All the while the protagonists must contend with scary yet normal, albeit sudden life changes when they meet Thale, a representation of both natural and forced (abnormal) evolution.

Now, as an American with rather deep, recent and powerful Danish and Norwegian roots, I was surprised that I could not - for the life of me - figure out what creature Thale was supposed to be. I grew up on stories, legends, and bad children threats of what I thought were all the Norse creatures. Still, Thale stumped me until the very end. I forced myself not to ask the internets for help until the movie was over. Once the movie ended I pleaded for Wikipedia's advice.

Because I had such a pleasant discovery experience, I am not going to relay what Thale is here. If you already know or find out elsewhere, fine, but I think the element of surprise plays a rather powerful role in this film.

Thale is a lovely, suspenseful film, and I believe a bit of an ode to the beauty of mystical creatures. Not over-the-top scary but down-right-chilly. Goes well with snow, warmth, a good friend, and perhaps a fine ale from Odin's Brewing Company. Well done, Thale.

To get you started, here is the movie trailer:


Thursday, February 6, 2014

Beast From Haunted Cave (1959)

This 1950's black and white classic holds a very, very special place in my heart. Not only is it filmed in the Black Hills of South Dakota, my home state, but it also has a hilariously inaccurate and uncomfortably long tag line: "Screaming young girls sucked into a labyrinth of horror by a blood-starved ghoul from Hell".  I really love this so-wrong-it's-right film.


I've been looking for a good movie to give my first All GIF review to - Beast From Haunted Cave should be good. But let's iron out a few things first:

#1: No young girls are sucked into a labyrinth of horror.
#2: A few walk in voluntarily.
#3: There is no evidence to conclude the monster is blood-starved.
#4: It's a spider thing, not a ghoul...as far as I can see.
#5: The ghoul is not from Hell - it lives in a cave and is most likely a lost ancient arachnid that just needs a hug.
#6: The cave, young girls, ghoul, and Hell all play rather minor roles in the film.
#7: This movie is actually about money, sex, and power.
#8: The cave is not haunted.

Now that we got that out there - let the GIF party begin!

The movie begins and it looks like it has promise!



But within a few seconds I get confused by the Fear-Freezing Suspense... WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?



Then there is a bunch of people skiing:



Enter criminals, unawares there is more than just gold in them there hills:



The criminals, one being The Girlfriend, immediately begin arguing. In fact, that is what they do through the entire film. They "fight" over drinks, singing, gold, snow, gold-stealing plans, people's attention:



Me, at this point:



Plans are made for gold thievery. None of which make a whole lot of sense:



Thieving plans involve taking unsuspecting people into the woods. That's when things begin to get ugly...





Enter: Beast From Haunted Cave!



Actually, it's more like this:



Monster does monster business:



And then suddenly, the monster's reign of terror is over:




And now, The Beast From Haunted Cave is added to your Favorite Movies of All Time List:



You're welcome.
Pairs best with anyone and anything silly.

In fact, you can watch is now for free through the Internet Archive!!