American Horror Story (Television Show, 2011)

October Challenge Day 6:

My day did not start off well.

First, I was running late, and then I had a jerk bus driver that charged me an extra .50 cents. I asked him why and that lead to an argument I was absolutely not expecting.

Driver: "Well, because you're going out of the city - you're going into another zone and that costs an extra .50 cents."

Me: "But I'm not going out of the city, I'm just going to - "

Driver: "I get on the viaduct and I go Out Of The City!"

Me: "You have stops before the city lines and that's where I'm going!"

There is a brief stare down but people are waiting, I pay the fee and sit behind the driver.

The driver takes off and adds, "Well. We have these new machines now. It tells us what to charge people." I Kid You Not, he said that while waving one hand in the air and sprinkling imaginary star dust on the bus fare machine.

My jaw dropped.

***

10 minutes and a mental note to call the Metro Customer Service line later, I arrive at my work place, show my badge to security, and then am promptly greeted by an unfamiliar cafeteria employee in my government office. At first I think he's saying "Hi!" No, he looking for brute force for one reason or another. He grabs my right arm as I pass and says, "You look tough, come on in and help us!"

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? WHAT IS HAPPENING? WHO ARE YOU?

The work day just got silly from there. Not bad, just silly.

***

After work I'm rushing through downtown rush hour traffic to collect my paintings from a recent art show. To my shock and astonishment, I make it though the traffic in record time. I get to the show and the owner of the shop tells me, "You've sold a painting!"

YAY! Hey, this day isn't turning out so bad after all!

***

I get home, get the mail, and see that out home-visit bio medical assessments has arrived. My Husband has signed us up for every "see how healthy you are perk" available through our insurance plan - this is one of them...

"Well," I say, "Let's open these bad boys up and see how our health is doing!" Considering how my day has been so far, this could go 50/50.

We BOTH nailed it. We high-fived our HDL and LDL Cholesterol levels, our eGRF and Creatinine levels, our Triglycerides and total Cholesterol levels, etc.

So I say to him, all sweet and romantic like, "Let's celebrate. I JUST got an email from Netflix. American Horror Story Season 4 is now streaming....

***

And so that's what we're watching tonight! After all of the day's events, I find American Horror Story to be the pick of the evening. Why...and why is entire review almost entirely dedicated to my rambling? Because it's it's my blog and I can do what I want, and it's the October Challenge, these things happen.

I have found American Horror Story to be that perfect blend of today's Grimm's Fairy Tales meets grim headline news. This show, quite frankly, is really rather genius.

It's able to tap into our (U.S.) actual horrors, our (U.S) imaginary horrors, all the while creating characters that complicate everyone's collective version of right and wrong.

In all, I've found this TV show has been able to rip apart and put back together the 1000 piece blue sky puzzle that is nearly every real horror story, urban legend, or the masterpiece conjured up from the most creative  and disturbed imaginations.

Love this show.

I can not possibly provide a complete review of this show because I'm just now starting Season 4. But that doesn't mean you can't start it anytime time you want (yet another brilliant move on this series!). If this show is new to you - watch it now. If' it's old to you - rewatch it now. It's just so brilliant, wrong, right, and awesome (....a little like my day).

Suggested pairings: your favorite foods, your favorite drinks, your favorite settings. Get settled in with a loved one or just rock it on your own. Either way, prepare to see some awesome.

The Phantom of the Opera (1925)

October Challenge Day 5:

Folks, I've seen this movie already! I watched it for the first time on a plane when I was flying back from Washington, DC earlier this year. This one was perfect fit to focus my flying anxiety upon someone else's misery. (Thank you Kindle. THANK YOU)

I read the book last year and hated it. In fact, I was surprised by how much I detested the book, the way it was written, the style it was written in - everything. Let's not speak of this book again!

The movie, on the other hand, is wonderful. It went straight to the heart of the story, focused on the eccentric fun parts, and made the story a lot more terrifying than I ever found the book to be. Okay - all done talking about the book!

Although a silent film and 90 years old, there is a reason why this movie is a beloved classic. It's GOOD. So good that even *I* gasped when the Phantom's actual face was revealed. I gasped, folks.

Soft, sweet, dark, menacing, and gorgeous, The Phantom of the Opera is an absolute Must See for any horror movie lover. Pairs with wine, cheese and crackers. Best served on fancy dinnerware but with a nasty nasty, gross nasy napkin on the side.

In fact, you can watch it now! Compliments of the Internet Archive:

Enjoy!

Dumplings (2004)

October Challenge Day 4:

Birthed from the Asian trilogy of terror, Three...Extremes, I present to you today's horror movie: Dumplings!

The word "dumplings" always makes me smile. I mean, you can't help but feel good when you hear the word. I also really enjoy dumplings. Particularly my mother's dumplings.

And *that's* what makes this film so deliciously evil!

Theses aren't your mother's dumplings, err. I mean, in some sense maybe they are, I mean. No. I mean - you don't want these dumplings. You just don't want these dumplings!

Even without yet having seen this film, I think I'm really going to enjoy it. It's going to be pretty messed up! It's going to be downright disgusting and wrong! But I think it's going to be good...

I suspect it's going to lambaste the ridiculous business of selling perpetual youth, I'm pretty sure it's going to gouge out the eyes of the jealous and greedy, and I'm almost certain it's going to give all those ignorant and absurd haters of Planned Parenthood something so loose their minds over...and somehow that makes me chuckle a little...

But I could be wrong about all these assumptions!!!

This could be another attempt to shame women who make their own decisions, like the 2006 Asian horror film, Re-cycle.

We'll just have to see...

See you after the show!!

UPDATE:

Ladies and gentlemen .... I was absolutely right about all my assumptions! HA!

I had my fingers crossed that it would also emphasize at least some of the very serious real life horrors that result in a lack of affordable reproductive healthcare and Dumplings NAILED IT.

Aside from the dumplings themselves, this entire movie speaks to so many double standards, hypocrisies, and downright frustrations facing women's health. The dumplings? These were grade A horror show material. So gross, man. So. Gross.

The sound effects doubly enhanced the gross factor. The cinematography and color usage made the horror viewing experience all the more terrifying, and lovely.

The movie is riddled with fertile symbols (e.g., eggs everywhere!) and the fruitless fight for youth (you simply can't fight aging without cracking some eggs...). This is a very smart, polite, and absolutely unapologetic film so prepare to cringe, smile, and be appalled all at the same time.

That said, The ending felt a little rushed and a tad sloppy. Perhaps that was intended! In fact, now that I think about it, if it was intended then that's rather brilliant - excellent symbolism for the dumpling chef...

In any case, this is an uncomfortably great cannibalistic horror show, and an advocate for affordable reproductive healthcare for women. Ah. Never thought I would say that sentence. Ever.

Watch in a group with your best lady friends (and oh man, oh man! I have to say it! I'm going to do it!) pairs with Chinese takeout.

I saw this film on Amazon streaming. Use the links under Find It. Watch It. on Horror Habit's side bar to locate where else you can find this highly disturbing feature.

Ghostwatch (1992)

October Challenge Day 3:

We've been watching the news on TV for most of the morning.

Sad, terrible, horrible news. I find it difficult to watch too much news. The Exorcist, Hellraiser, The Shining - I'll watch that on any given morning. But the news, no so much.

I get too worked up, too upset, angry, frustrated, disgusted, horrified, depressed, and finally exhausted.

I find even the most gruesome horror movies fun.

But real life is the scariest thing I've ever seen.

So to merge together terrible real life with my horror movie pick for the day, I've chosen the super controversial British made-for-TV special: Ghostwatch.

I'm not too familiar with the story line. What I do know is that it was banned by the BBC right after it's debut. It was billed as a entertaining Drama but the public took to it like the 90's version of iconic radio show War of the Worlds.

Still talked about to this day, and still referenced as one of the most unintentional (intentional?) fake horror stories to hit the air waves, Ghostwatch sounds like a perfect way to start my afternoon.

I am so looking forward to a news break so as to watch this particular news break.

See you after the show!!

UPDATE:

It took me all day to watch this film. All. Day.

Not because it was terrible but because I ended up knowing this story already. Although innovative in 1992, by 2015 I've been burned out by the style.

That doesn't make it a bad film, though!

I turned on the movie and 30 minutes in I was Crockpotting, decorating for Halloween, and paying bills. Although that is my 2015 reaction, I still recognized how powerful this little movie was for 1992. I would have been terrified at the time had I seen it then, still terror stricken by family stories and reeling from Garfield His 9 Lives.

This simple made-for-TV movie was an intentional (unintentional) horror show. And bravo for that. Unfortunately for the show I didn't end up seeing it until 2015 and on a sunny mid-Saturday afternoon. Frightening? Not all all. Entertaining? At times.

Please research the history of this show. At this point the scandals that were a product of this BBC special are more interesting than the actual movie. And that's where I'm going to leave this review.

It ended nicely, it was super innovative, it's likely not something that will shock you. BUT it's a horror show if you're not paying bills, decorating, and making dinner.

Check it out. It's a must see all the same.

I saw this film on my Dailymotion Roku channel. Use the links under Find It. Watch It. on Horror Habit's side bar to locate where else you can find this feature.

Dead Silence (2007)

October Challenge Day 2:

It took me an unusual amount of time to decide on tonight's movie.  Like, hours. It was weird.

Why can I not decide on a movie... Why am I struggling at this...There are so many movies out there that I want to see...What am I in the mood for... chicken nuggets sound good...Need to remember to call that guy about that thing tomorrow... and what in heaven's name is that!? Is that a stain on the carpet?! Is that new?!!!

"It's not new, Sweet Pea, it's been there for years. I don't know what it is or how long it's been there but you've never complained about it before." My Husband replies.

As I was scrolling through my Have You Seen List, a movie idea popped into my head:  DEAD SILENCE.

YES! That's the one - the one with the evil Pinocchio thing on the cover! Yeeeeeeeeaaaaah. I've been wanting to see that one.

So there you have it, folks! My official first movie of this year's October Challenge season is going to be about this Pinocchio thing. Actually, it's a ventriloquist's dummy and the movie is about a mourning husband looking for his wife's killer...

In any case, this movie has received a lot of mixed reviews but I've also seen it on a lot of Movies You NEED TO SEE lists. So I'm going to give it a try! Right after this whole dinner situation is figured out (mmmmmmmm, chicken nuggets......).

Alright - so here we go! I'll see you after the show! Stay tuned for my review of DEAD SILENCE....mmmmmmwhwhahahahahaha [cough cough cough cough]. I will get my evil laugh down one of these days....

UPDATE:

What a fun fun fun movie!!

Check your minds at the door kids, this ride is all visual and emotional!

My first thought: "Oh my good heavens, this is a moving picture version of Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark!"

*You* know the stories I'm talking about - they were so scary they were banned in middle and high schools during the 90's.

Yeah. Those.

The thing is, they weren't scary exclusivity because of the stories, it was the stories AND the drawings that gave everyone nightmares. This movie is like one of these stories.

The plot is interesting and disturbing enough, but it's the visuals and cinematography that really hit this movie out of the ball park. It's just... .it's just.... So Pretty! So terrifyingly pretty!

The dialogue is, well, entertaining... But that's why you need to check you mind at the door. It's an emotional horror movie. Not a psychological thriller or a physical bloody meat fest. Dead Silence is something entirely different.

Fast, fantastical, weird, wrong, and oh so lovely, this is a super satisfying horror movie for any individual or a group of people who enjoy watching horror movies together. Best to keep your tongue during the film, though (this statement is funnier after the movie) because you'll need to pay attention every step of the way.

Story line: newlyweds find a ventriloquist doll delivered to their apartment - and then they bring this freaky ass thing inside their home! Here Is Where You Check Your Mind At The Door. Please stop thinking here and just enjoy the show. Then the wife is found murdered, suddenly, and the husband believes it has something to do with a ventriloquist legend in his home town. Naturally.

This movie looks as if it has been ripped apart by many a critic. I'm here to tell you that those critics have no idea what they are talking about with this one. To thoroughly appreciate this movie you need a healthy suspension of disbelief, and then an ability to simply sit back, relax and enjoy. This little diamond requires no more than that.

I made a joke earlier about this doll (on the cover) being a Pinocchio looking thing. Turns out I was more right than wrong...and now I've given you something to think about...

Pairs with soup, a cold night, and crackers that are going to make a mess everywhere despite your best efforts. Watch alone or in a small, silent group. Have fun with this one, folk! The point is to have fun, and well, scare you quite a bit, which it does.

I saw this film on Netflix streaming. Use the links under Find It. Watch It. on Horror Habit's side bar to locate where else you can find this highly entertaining feature.