I have a friend who recommended I see Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter, and when I asked what it was about, exactly, he just waved his arms and said, "Just See It!"
Now that I've seen it, I understand his reaction so much now.
[SHOUTING IN CARNIVAL BARKER]:
We have the best Kung-Fu! Gather around for the epic, one-of-a-kind Kung-Fu scenes!
Want a musical number? You - yes you, madam! I know you want a musical number!
See the amazing Mexican wrestler, Santos!! No, folks, not *the* Lucha Libre El Santo, but you'll still love him folks, I promise you!
We have the most amazing lesbian vampires - they walk in the sunlight!!! Now I know you've never seen that before!
Wait, wait - we also have superheros! Young man, I know you like superheros - I bet you'd love this Mary Magdalene-inspired superhero! Yes you do!
And who can forget, folks, we have JESUS CHRIST! He's a skateboarder, he's dedicated to the good of humanity, he's a martial arts expert, and he's really short!
Folks, come one and all for all the meta! Religious hypocrisy, B-films love, the soundtrack, but stay - absolutely stay for the extremely clever dialog! You won't regret spending time with this writing!
Step right into the tent, folks. Be prepared to be amazed! Or at the very least, you'll probably walk out with a WTF Was That face and a chuckle in your chest!
Pairs with blessed wine or water, crackers.
I watched this film on Amazon Prime. Use the links on Horror Habit's side bar to locate where else you can find this truly unusual film!
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