The Creepy Doll (2011)

I stumbled upon this little gem while I was researching various paranormal television shows and channels on my Roku. And by researching I mean stalking. Fun fact, I love those damn paranormal television shows. LOVE THEM. Most people crawl into bed with a book, sometimes even a spouse. My Husband tucks me into bed and says "Have fun with your ghost stories, Sweet Pea." As he makes sure the Kindle is on to the Amazon or Netflix app before he turns off the light and heads to the living room to listen to politics or Neil Degrasse Tyson. He's a good man.

When The Creepy Doll came up top of the list on my Roku paranormal television search criteria I was like, "Whaaaaaaaaa HAHAHA and whaaaaa? Wait. Now I must see this."

I had the opportunity to watch this little beauty tonight! And man, let me tell you, it was absolutely nothing like what I was expecting.

First and foremost, the story line is brilliant. Brilliant. Fresh new couple discovers a baby is on the way - rushed marriage seems like the wisest and best option, and they also convinced themselves that they were in love. Tsk tsk tsk people. If you're going to rush into marriage make sure No Children Are Involved. Seriously.

In any case, new wife has a doll collection problem and new husband is afraid he's made a very bad decision on the marriage front. Things continue to get more complicated from there - but complicated in all the best ways horror movies have to offer.

If all that wasn't already a recipe for disaster then let me introduce you to the CREEPY ASS DOLL:

I'm not kidding folks, there was no false advertising here - this film has one of the creepiest dolls I've ever seen.

Please keep in mind that this is not a Big Blockbuster Budget Film. This is a film crafted under great love, small budget, dedication, and originality. Hats off to you guys. That was a Very Creepy Doll! AND very well done on the acting and the dialogue

Actually, let me talk for a second about that acting and dialogue. I was completely entranced. I could not look away. It was gritty, dirty, raw, uncomfortable, and dare I say: felt on the very edge of a Home Video of a Highly Dysfunctional Family Gathering during Thanksgiving. I kept watching even though I knew s*** was going to hit the fan and was going to get all over that nice dinner set...

I was absolutely impressed with this film. It had it's moments where I laughed out loud and I don't think the film intended it that way, but I think if a horror movie can make you laugh on accident then you feel more appreciation for it. Horror movies that make you laugh on purpose are great too - they're just geared towards a different audience. Horror movies that accidentally make me laugh, as far as I see it, hold a very close place to the heart. I don't think I'm alone here.

I see this film becoming a cult classic. Honestly. This is a film that deserves a large group's attention or, as in my case, sitting with a fancy IPA beer (Portland's Workhorse India IPA in particular), on the LazyBoy after a rather mentally exhausting day at work. Should I add that my husband was in the kitchen cooking? This seems important for some reason....

This is a fun film. I'm adding it to one of my favorites. A very honest to goodness creepy story that will surpass expectations. No blood or guts, no fast action. No tricks of the camera or wild music. No jump scares or otherwise typical activity. This is a film of its very own.

Recommended pairings: Watch in a business suite - especially if you don't work in the office environment, OR watch with a bunch of pillows on your belly. Like, so many pillows it's hard to move. Tea, cheep wine, or beer will work well. Add some BBQ. The messier the better. Be sure to get it all over your face and don't wash it off until the very end of the film. The dry crustiness falling off your cheeks plays a role. If you could set a creepy doll in a corner across the room from you - you'll be golden.