Friday, October 31, 2014

Attack of the Killer Sock (2014)

LADIES AND GENTLEMAN

For my final movie today I present to you: Attack of the Killer Sock!

It's just been released - as in, like a couple hours ago. You are one of the first to see this film, and you will love it! I promise.

Happy Halloween!!


XO


UPDATE!

I wasn't able to provide a more thorough review yesterday, as I was running out the door, but folks, this is a lovely, haunting, and very chilling horror story.

Naturally, when you hear "Attack of the Killer Sock" you might think you'd be in a for a side-tickler. That is not the case with this one, not at all. Rather, this is a very unique and dark look into loneliness and madness.

Watch with an open mind, a sympathetic heart, and in the dark - alone.

Well done, and huge thanks to Alexander Williams and Mcphoney Pictures for creating and sharing a great independent short.

Two Short Horror Movie Award Winners

Here are two excellent horror movie shorts that you need to see if you know what's good for you!

And that's all I have to say about that...

The Quiet:


Victim:


The Cat and The Canary (1927)

I've always been impressed with this silent film.

It's cheeky, silly, absurd, and at times quite startling. The characters are hilarious and theatrically over the top, yet lovable and delicious (just like a great silent film should be).


The Cat and the Canary is a great film for everyone, regardless of your horror preferences. Also a great film to watch alone on a dark and stormy night or with a group of fun-loving friends.

Great great great movie!

Trilogy of Terror (1975)

This made-for-TV horror movie is an absolute favorite in the family. Every since the initial release in 1975, the Trilogy of Terror, particularly the last one third of the movie, has gone down as legend in the family home.


If you're familiar with this movie then you'll know the last horror short in this collection is about a killer doll thing. That killer doll thing, also known as the Tiki Doll, also known as He Who Kills, has terrorized my family for nearly four decades.

And by that I mean my father has tormented us with memories of this little doll ever since 1975. For instance, if you're not paying attention while chillin' on the couch, Dad might sneak up and poke your ankle with a toothpick. Which, obviously, will result in a near heart attack and lots of screaming.

Or.... when you're all snug in bed and ready for sleep, Dad might shove a little butter knife under the door and make scary killer tiki doll sounds - frightening you out of your MIND.

I love my Dad. I blame him, just a little bit, for my love of horror movies.

So - get your own horrifying family memories started, take a look at this crazy creature in motion, and find yourself a copy of this film stat.



Lights Out (2013)

This little short made it's rounds my Facebook this month - so I've seen it a couple times and I LOVE IT EVERY TIME.

Classic creature feature fears and classic childhood fears come together in this award winning short to bring the world yet another fantastic horror short that is sure to make you jump, scream, and give you a few nightmares for a while.

Nighty Night!




La fillette et l'ogre (2009)

Now here's a beautiful little film about an ogre, I think...

This film is so lovely, so sweet looking and yet - so very sinister. A little something to tuck you into bed at night. Sweet dreams!

01/24/2018 - update! Sorry folks, this film is no longer available.

The Haunted Castle (1896)

If you've always wanted to watch a French silent film from 1896 - Now's Your Chance!!

Juuuuuussst going to leave that right here...


The Omen (1975)

You guys, I'm not even joking, The Omen is one of the scariest films I've ever seen.

It still gets to me - especially the dogs... gah! Eck! Oh man, serious, just remembering some of those visuals gives me the heebee jeebees.


I know most everyone has heard of The Omen, but not everyone has seen it. This is one very frightening film and absolutely not for everyone. I would argue that it might just be a little bit *more* scary than The Exorcist - juuuuuust a little bit.

However, if it's been a while since you've seen it and are looking for something very scary this Halloween, then may I suggest this most bad ass classic.

And that's about all I have for you with this one. It's just so good - SO. GOOD. 

Recommended pairing: what ever you can find in a church basement.

As a reminder of how awesome and terrifying this film is...in case you forgot:







The Changeling (1980)

I showed this movie to a group of friends a couple years back and it was not well received.

Only confirmed to me that this very chilling ghost story is one that should watched alone, in the dark.

The Changeling is a very classic not classic ghost story.


With a title and cover image that suggests this might be a creature feature, this haunting story will both surprise and terrify you (and make you cry a little bit, because there are some very sad moments in the film).

There are certain sound effects in this film that still gives me nightmares. Usually it's growling for me (AH! Growling in films is very scary). But there is no growling here... there is something else that will set the hair on your arms straight up.

Compelling, sympathetic, sweet, hard, cold and clammy, and with the big surprise at the end - this is a ghost story that is sure to please any ghostly horror movie fan.

Recommended pairing: something with dust on it...

Betty Boop: Minnie The Moocher (1932)

Yes, I know it's Betty Boop - but this is a rather creepy little clip that also has a SUPER FANTASTIC soundtrack.

Got about 8 minutes? Yes, I know you do.

Enjoy...


Deep Red (1975)

Dario Argento - This Guy, everyone, This Guy...

Creates some very strange and disturbing movies. Famous for also bringing us Susperia and Phenomena, tonight he's brought to us Deep Red. Yet another gory, psycho, bizarre, and straight up crazy film.


I don't always understand what Dario is trying to get across in his films, but what ever it is he's really loud, bloody and psychotic about it. Although this is not one of my most favorite film's of his, it is one that has stuck with me the longest.

There are images here that made me go "...wait - hold up. WHAAAAAAT WAS THAT?"

This is a good late night film with friends. Watch alone if you want to be uncomfortable and not sure why...

This is not a film for the whole family, nor is it for the easily squeamish and frightened. 

Recommended pairing: red wine, all over the place. If you don't mind staining the carpet or counter tops, all the better.

Have fun!



Funeral Home (1980) AGAIN

I keep finding all these movies I've reviewed before - but now I have the actual movies to go with them!

Here's a fun one. Funeral Home. 1980's camp meets didn't quite make it....nice try though.



Here's my original review.

My opinions haven't changed on this one. It's just as strange, wrong, terrible, funny, and strange as it always was:




The Cat With Hands (2001)

Yup. This one is just as weird and disturbing as it sounds.

The cinematography here is incredible and very very creepy. This is a frightening film primarily because of the subject matter and how completely insane it is. The visuals will also stick with ya - for a long time...

It looks like a Poe story, sounds like a Dickens tale, and is something entirely new...

Best that children not watch this one, especially if they love cats.


THE CAT WITH HANDS from Robert Morgan on Vimeo.

Paralyzed (2013)

Holy smokes, people.

This is one very very scary short film.

Ever suffer from sleep paralysis? Well.... this one might just hit a little too close to home.

I discovered this fantastic short film also at Horrorella's blog. Like I said earlier,  she's got some good stuff on there! Go check the blog out!

Again - this is a very scary short film. You've been warned:




Dinner for Two (2008)

Here's a delightful little short for you! One that I discovered on Horrorella's blog. She's got a lot of goodies posted there, and even one for every day of October. So go check it out. With the two of us you'll not run out of any movies to watch today.

To get you started, here is a deliciously dark-humored morsel. Enjoy!




A Bucket Of Blood (1959)

Sooooo, according to my records, I've seen this film already.

And yet, I don't remember anything about it? Even though I can't properly review or relay any information about A Bucket Of Blood, everywhere I look I'm seeing this movie title crop up in front of my face.


I felt compelled to share this one with you today, and I would totally love to hear your thoughts on the film!


UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE

Okay okay okay, I have now seen this film and it's BRILLIANT! Insanely dark humored and so full of evil clever it hurts. I really shouldn't have expected anything less from Roger Corman....

If you're in the mood for some beatnik hilarity or wanna watch some Dick Miller play a painfully unaware guy who just wants to fit in (to a deadly degree and with some shocking results) - then I highly recommend this movie. 

It's short, sweet, to the point, and full of very telling ideas this movie had about the 1950's art community. 

Check it out, you dig?


The Haunted House (1929)

I almost totally forgot about this one - but now that I've found it again, I feel it needs to be shared. In it's own way, it wouldn't be Halloween with out this classic little gem.

Not much else to add except, here you go!






Daywalt Horror: Jack (2010)

OOOOOOH Daywalt Horror - SO FUN!

Here's another one for you. Got 2 minutes? Then you can watch this right creepy little horror short:


Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964)

If, for some reason, you are sitting up at 3:00 AM - having eaten too much Halloween candy or what ever, and your mind just won't turn off because now all you're thinking about is what to get everyone for Christmas, then might I recommend this mind-blowing monstrosity.

As the title suggests, Santa Claus Conquers the Martians, this movie is about Santa Claus conquering martians. I don't suspect I need to tell you how the movie ends...


You absolutely can not watch this one sober without blowing a fuse or two. However, if you have little ones that you want distracted then this might be a good pick - a good pick if you want to totally confuse them and perhaps give them a complex about Santa, aliens, horror movies, or holidays in general.

I'm putting this one out there because everyone needs to know it exists - for your safety and those around you. So you can stop with the bets now, hasn't enough money already been lost?

Yes, there really is a movie about Santa Claus conquering martians. It really happened. Someone actually did this...


Sesame Street: Bert and Ernie in a Pyramid (1982)

This little Sesame Street clip terrified me as a child...

Does anyone else remember this one? Quite frankly, I'm not exactly sure why this one was so stinking freaky. Watching it now I'm still not sure so I'll just let you see for yourselves:


Burnt Offerings (1976)

So, a handsome and happy family move into a big old house, thinking their dreams are coming true - only to find that IT WAS THE WORSE IDEA EVER.

Heard this one before? Yes, I'm certain you have.

But I can guarantee you've not seen anything quite like Burnt Offerings.


This is a very disturbing movie, but it takes some patience and your full attention - especially right at the end!

For a whole $900, this ideal family is offered a chance to stay in a beautiful mansion for an entire summer, and all they have to do is take care of the sweet little old lady who lives upstairs. Folks, if it's too good to be true then it's too good to be true. Tuck that in your pocket and keep it safe...

Recommended pairing: Watch on a dark stormy night, preferably alone or with a small group. Drinks: lemonade, tea, or a hot toddy, Eat something warm and then curl up under a lot of blankets.

Check out the trailer! This movie is a must see:









Nosferatu (1922)

Okay - who hasn't heard of Nosferatu? Yes, I know - hardly no one.


 But how many of you have actually seen it? Yeah.... I thought so...

This movie scared my mother silly when she watched it as a young girl. It didn't scare me as much when I watched it as a young girl because I was already hardened by Gremlins... My first creature feature.

Though this horror movie may not frighten the pants off many today, I'm sure it will still give you the willies and frightening visuals to fall asleep to.

Besides, this is a CLASSIC. With a great big C, L, A, S, S, I and C. So that makes it a must see if you want your horror movie watching experience to be complete. If you've not already seen this film then it might be best to watch alone or in a small quiet group.

Recommended pairing: popcorn, and some sort of childhood favorite dish or drink.


Plan 9 From Outer Space (1959)

Folks,
There is no proper way for me to describe how terrible this movie is. In fact, there is no proper way to describe any Ed Wood movie without first bursting into laughter, then sighing, and then finally attempting to describe one of his movies.


And yet, although Plan 9 From Outer Space is terrible and doesn't make much sense at all - you kind of have to admire it for what it is.

It's a crazy bad film that is somehow enjoyable to watch. And who doesn't love Ed Wood, at least he tried!

So gather your troops, be them the kids or friends, prepare to become more confused as the movie progresses, and get ready for some good ol' silly fun. Happy Halloween!

Recommended pairing: LOTS OF CANDY AND BOOZE


The Skeleton Dance (1929)

Does anyone remember this one?

I remembering it freaking me out as a kid.. and yet I couldn't look away.

Here to conjure up some childhood memories (or to make some new ones) I present Disney's:

The Skeleton Dance:


Lady In White (1988)

This is one of my all time favorite ghost stories.

This movie even inspired me to write a "book" (that was essentially was a direct rip-off of the film. But hey, I was 10).

This is another film that I would watch over and over and over and over again. At 10 years old. I'm not sure what that says about the film or me...



The Lady In White was my introduction to ghostly drama. I also think I was very connected to this movie because I was nearly the same age Lucas Haas's character was in the film.

This is a spooky, sad little story that will both warm your heart and give you chills.

I would recommend this film for the whole family - but I think that depends on the family. We are a strange little family when it comes to "Family Films" so I'll leave that up to your own judgement as to who in the household should watch this one.

There is murder, there are ghosts, there are creepy creepy adults hanging out in an an elementary school at night... but there is also love.

If you are into good spooky ghost stories then this movie needs to be in your collection. In fact, every Horror Habit Favorite should be in your collection.

Get your snacks ready. Grab a blanket and some pillows and snuggle into a really great film. Check out the trailer to see what needs to be seen, especially on Halloween:






Daywalt Horror: Meat (2012)

YAY!!

I know you want another Daywalt Horror short.

And this one is something truly special. Great film for those of you who want a lot of humor with your spookiness.

And I mean - lot's of humor:





The Haunting of Sarah Hardy (1989)

OH MAN

You GUYS! I totally forgot about this movie until today - while I was searching for something else.

I used to watch The Haunting of Sarah Hardy as a tween - all the time. Aaaaaannnnddd you've probably never heard of it.

I'm not sure what possessed me to watch this film over and over again at the time and then promptly forget about when I turned 15, but here we are, over 20 years later and it has suddenly fallen smack in the middle of my path again!

This little made-for-TV unrecognized classic is a fairly good film. Not great, but there is something very compelling about it if you're into ghostly dramas.


I recommend this film if you want to watch something spooky but nothing that will spook the pants off you. Also, if you like ghostly stories that may or may not have a ghost in it - this might be a good fit.

OR - if you just like to watch a movie that has big awesome mansions in it then this would be a good one.

That said! This is my review based on 12 year old me! I've not had a chance to re-watch it, so I might be totally off here...but I still recommend giving it a try all the same. You might be pleasantly surprised.

Recommended pairing: good vintage wine, caviar - anything fancy rich people might enjoy. Or microwave popcorn... that could work too...





I Bury The Living (1958)

I wasn't exactly sure what I was getting myself into when I started this one. Perhaps I thought it was going to be a little campy, little silly.


But I was wrong! I Bury The Living is a smart, sharp, and disturbing film. Although not scary in the slasher or monster sense, rather scary in the mind twistyness, this is a fun film for a small gathering looking for a little spine chill.

I was quite impressed with this little diamond. Especially with the ending, which had me on the edge of my seat and surprised me right good and proper.

This is a great film for those not into super scary on Halloween but are still looking for a spooky classic that goes nicely with popcorn.


The Brain That Wouldn't Die (1962)

Okay, I could never take The Brain That Wouldn't Die seriously. Never. And I tried several times.



So if you're in the mood for a silly Halloween classic to have on in the background or polish off a six pack to then I recommend this one.

That said, the underlining story in this one (boyfriend keeps girlfriend's head alive despite her pleas to let her die) is a little chilling. But that's about the most chilling part.

Want to get your home in the mood for some Mystery Science Theater 3000 silliness? Then 1, 2, 3, GO:


The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari (1920)

This beloved classic silent film is a royalty in the horror movie kingdom. Dark, moody, strange, cerebral, twisted - all wrapped up in amazing cinematography and a rather mind-blowing ending, the original Cabinet of Dr. Caligari is a must see for horror and non horror fans alike.


I haven't even tried to watch any other version. I'm still busy thinking about this one! I doubt any other version can capture the real horror this story has to share. I'd like to hear if anyone else has seen another version that is better than this one.

Although this movie is technically family friendly, I doubt youngsters would understand what is happening here. This would be a great one for teens who are serious about film and theater, however!

This movie requires your full and upright attention at all times. So unless you're already familiar with this one or only want some background music while you tool around the house, then I would not recommend The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari, for any other event except for a serious and focused audience.

Recommended pairing: Absinthe.


Thursday, October 30, 2014

Great Big Humongous Surprise

Folks, after a great deal of thought, I've decided not to watch a movie today. For the following reasons:

  • I've already watched my monthly quota. 
  • My selection was not so great.
  • Mike offered-up a Walking Dead marathon instead.
  • I HAVE A GREAT BIG HUMONGOUS SURPRISE FOR YOU ALL TOMORROW

Serious. All these things, and maybe a few more, were the reason I decided not to watch a film tonight.

As much as I wanted to keep this surprise until tomorrow - it just can't wait. It Really Just Can't Wait.

For the first time ever, I will be showing 31 Horror Movies For Halloween on Horror Habit - all day - for like, forever...actually...

No Joke! I'll be posting 31 full length horror movies to watch on this blog for Halloween!

There will be full length gore, hilarity, classics, the absurd, movie shorts, fun for everyone, and some of the best for horror movie aficionados.

In short, there will be something for everyone at every stage of the day.

I LOVE HALLOWEEN SO MUCH

I might as well have some inflatable worm people things shooting/blowing up around the house and aimless car salesmen harassing the neighbors while holding signs that say, "SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY"

...now that I think about it - that would be a Great Halloween show...

In any case, I'm so excited to showcase a crap load of movies for you for this Halloween.  You're welcome. Stay tuned for tomorrow!

XO!



Wednesday, October 29, 2014

From a Whisper To A Scream aka The Offspring (1987)

Folks, today was a terrible today.

I'm not joking - it was a craptastic type of day! We all have them, and they will creep up when we least expect them.

Thankfully these types of craptastic days will have some sort of gem to glimmer through the chaos, giving you enough light to make it through without going all Godzilla on everyone and everything (although I know you want to!).

These days happen, and they don't always make sense - despite your best intentions.

Therefore, I've decided to watch a film today that shares a song title that I happen to enjoy in these rare moments.


So, despite the bad day - I'm going to watch a film that sounds like a great, cozy film to end the day with and to tuck yourself into. A collection of four short moralistic horror films: From A Whisper To A Scream.

IMDB is trying to tell me this movie is also titled "The Offspring". I say no. I'm going with the DVD title I have in hand.


Okay! Let's get this movie on the road!

UPDATE

Folks, I totally fell asleep right away. But I will watch this film for sure on Halloween! Stay tuned for updates on this film and many many more surprises that I have in-store for you on All Hallows' Eve!



Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Real Life

Tonight I was not able to get a movie in, so I'm dedicating today's post to all the real life horror out there.

You know, the news. Watch the news tonight - Fox News if your into the crazy horror.

More movies tomorrow, sorry folks! Real life happened. Real life - the scariest stuff I know!

Monday, October 27, 2014

The Fearless Vampire Killers (1967)

FOUR MORE DAYS TO GO AND THEN HALLOWEEN!

Coincidentally, and with no purpose whatsoever, I have four movies in queue with titles that have also been brought into the music world.

It took two of us and nearly a week to put it all together.

I was the first to point out, "Hey... isn't this a song title as well?"

Mike was next, a couple days later, "... and wait, this one is also a song..."

And that's when Google piped in. Google has confirmed it! The title of every single film I have left to watch by Halloween is also a title of a song!

WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN?

Folks, this has never happened before and I am mildly amused by it.

After minor debate, we decided on The Fearless Vampire Killers for this evening:



As my Husband stated, "...it's a film by Roman Polanski and stars Sharon Tate - that's pretty scary."
True true. Actually, that makes it pretty creepy, in my opinion... historically speaking...

But, before I get this horror comedy on the road - let me present to you a song that shares this awesome title. One of Husband's very most favorite bands, Bad Brains, and their song " The Fearless Vampire Killers":


See you all after the show!

UPDATE

This is a very silly film. Cute, cheeky, slap-stick, bawdy and cozy. This is would be a fun little film to watch in the middle of the afternoon on a snow day.

I didn't laugh as much as I thought I would have, however. I chuckled. Chuckled myself right to sleep. Mike said that it was trying to achieve something ... not quite sure what it was ... and didn't quite make it... and then there we were, both of us - covered in blankets and limbs - snoring on the couch by 9:15.

But I agree with Mike. This film, by no means, is a bad film but it didn't quite hit a soft spot in my heart that I was expecting it to. Perhaps I should try this one again! In the middle of the afternoon! On a snow day!

Recommended pairing: Lots of cheese, hot coco or spiced warm wine.


Sunday, October 26, 2014

Dog Soldiers (2002)

This movie, Dog Soldiers, is one of my all time favorites.

FAVORITES!

I could just eat it up I love it so much!


I first saw the film in a small community theater, shortly after the film's initial release. I saw it with my brother, Matt, on a dark and rather nasty night (much like tonight). The movie was his idea. We have a bit of a werewolf "joke" in our family. And by "joke" I mean we laugh at them because we are totally and completely terrified of them.

Even as kids, traveling down rural South Dakota highways, if we saw an abandoned house or shack along side the road, one of us would state: "werewolf shack", just as matter-of-factly as one would state, "bathroom is down the hall and to the right".

Because, naturally, abandoned places is where werewolves lived. We didn't stay away from scary buildings because of ghost stories - it was because of werewolves.

I have no idea where this came from but it's still ingrained in my head. If I should seemingly randomly shout out "werewolf shack" while on road trips, now you know why.

Years ago I was on a train, coming back from Portland, OR. There was a young man sitting next to me - perhaps 10-15 years younger than me. The train passed a classic "werewolf shack" and I instinctively tapped the kid on the shoulder, pointed out the building, and said "werewolf shack".

I suspect to this day, he still wonders what in the world a 'werewolf shack' is. Google will never answer his questions, and I will always be that weird lady on the train.

Okay, back to the movie!

So there I was in the theater, jaw dropped - HORRIFIED. I've never been so scared in a movie theater - except that time I saw Gremlins as a very very young child - but then, otherwise, never.

These were the scariest werewolves I've ever seen. After the film, I had to have my brother wait with me at the bus stop to be my witness and back-up when the werewolves were going to bust out of the bus windows and attack us (which I was Certain was going to happen). I was 24 years old. Yup. This movie got me pretty good.

Ever since, this movie is my good-to for some awesome horror.

Dog Soldiers is scary, dark, humorous, gory, fun, thrilling, silly, well done, and, in my opinion, a classic.

I love this movie - every single time I watch it I see and hear something new. And I was so happy to introduce my husband to this personal favorite tonight. Even though I've seen the film before, many times, he hadn't seen it once, and I'm happy to announce that he really enjoyed it. He was On The Edge Of His Seat, people!

This is a great film for action horror fans, those who don't mind a little gore with their laughter, and anyone looking for a good, scary, horror film.

I absolutely love this movie.  LOVE IT.

Should you ever ask me what my top 10 horror movies are - this one is absolutely at the top of the list.

I. Love. This Film.

Saturday, October 25, 2014

The Bay (2012)

I've got a damn good life.

Seriously. I have indoor plumbing. electricity, food, a regularly paying job that pays decently, a wonderful family, great friends, a loving husband, and two fantastic cats. I have it good.

And I do not take any of that for granted.

I just wanted to say that first, before we start The Bay this evening, which is apparently all about how humanity failed humanity by taking everything for granted until it was gone.



UPDATE

Folks, if you noticed last night's post last night, then you'll also notice that most of it is gone.

That's because it was mostly a rambling, nonsensical message about important stuff, taking care of the planet and each other and how horror movies can connect us all in love. I had written last night's post after three pints of Elysian's Immortal IPA.

If you didn't read last night's post last night then, well, it is for the best. It really is. But the core of my message remains!

Good morning!

Sooooo, because I had three delicious IPAs last night, I didn't end up finishing the film. I wound up sleeping on the couch for most of it instead.

But I'll watch the rest of it this afternoon! Promise! Because I really liked what I've seen so far - which was fairly creepy, gross, and nerve racking (but obviously not nerve racking enough to battle me on a cozy couch and the IPAs...)


UPDATE UPDATE

This is one disturbing movie. With very little special effects, this one does wonders for scaring the pants right off you. There is plenty of blood and guts but not in the slasher film way - in a very realistic epidemic kind of way.

Ebola scare got you hooked into believing the world is going to end with this disease? Watch this and try to tell me (with a straight face) that Ebola is going to win that prize.

The most frightening aspects of this film is that every culprit for the creation of this monster already exists. Even the creatures - straight up. The beasts in this movie are just as scary in real life as in this fictional story.

The politics, the consumer, the big business, the waste, nature all come together to destroy a quintessential 4th of July parade. [shivers]

This is a frightening film. A well told and coldly calculated story that will keep you up at night, thinking....

Recommend pairing: tap water from a home near a fracking site. Chicken.



Friday, October 24, 2014

Near Dark (1987)

This film, Near Dark, came out at the wrong place at the wrong time.



A movie about teenagers in a small town full of vampires - opening up just two months after Lost Boys. You had a tough chance, Near Dark. You were dealt a hard hand.

That's all I got for you at this time. I need to see this film right now! Like it's on the screen right now and I need to be focusing on it.

See you all after the show!

UPDATE

Someone said this movie was, "Poetic..." and I have to agree. It's one of the first words that came to my mind. That and "...is this a parable on drug abuse?"

As stated earlier, this movie did not get the attention it deserved initially - mostly likely because it came out just two months after the blockbuster Lost Boys. Lost Boys was fun, exciting, killer soundtrack, and very much about vampires.

Near Dark was moody, a little all over the place, disturbing, a soundtrack David Lynch would have thought up, and it's not exactly about vampires.

Make no mistake! The movie is pretty clear we're dealing with vampires here! And yet, it also smells of a what happens when you run with a crowd that's pretty heavy into drugs. Honest and hardworking farm boy runs into a pushy group of teens, he falls for one of them, and Bam! Before he knows it he's living in-between a dream world and withdrawals.

This is a good, film. Strange but good. Not your typical vampire story, and if there is a history of drug abuse in the family, this film might bring back some bad memories.

There is a unique twist at the end that only confirmed to me that this story had more of a moral lesson to it.

A great film to watch with a family that has teens, a small group of friends, or alone on a dark and stormy night.

Stay away from those chemicals folks! I'm looking specifically at you Pills, Meth, Cocaine, Inhalants! Continue to love, yet release when necessary, those who've become trapped in the hell those soul-suckers create.

Parings: Meat and Potatoes, perhaps some corn and vegetables on the side.



Thursday, October 23, 2014

Salem's Lot (1979)

Soooooo, I ran into that kid who ran from me last week. No surprise - He Ran From Me Again! This time I had a witness. My Husband.

Kid took one glance at us and darted down the street. My Husband said: "That's one paranoid kid..."

In other news, we got a surprise in the mail today!!! AHHHHH!! Mail! Surprise!

A friend mailed us Salem's Lot!


And it couldn't have come at a better time. I was at the movie store last night and the damn thing was already rented. I shook my fist at the sky. Guy behind the counter was like, "...weirdo...". Him and I are not friends.

Neither my Husband or I knew this little classic was arriving in the mail today. That said, my Husband was expecting some mallets for his musical instruments. He saw the DVD-sized package and was like, "...those are some Very Small Mallets!"

So, we're cooking up some of our favorites (soup, pierogies, vegetable casserole) and listening to a good deal of Monty Python songs.

Life is pretty awesome. Food is on the way. Got treated to a classic movie tonight. Home is snug and warm. Husband and I are dancing all around the house. Friends and family are doing well, fighting the good fight with their fists held high, boxing. I got knocked a little silly in a freak hailstorm while on my way from work today - but if that's all I got to complain about, life is ridiculously fantastic. Ridiculously fantastic.

Time to watch a Stephen King movie! 


See you all after the show!

UPDATE:

Soooo, I fell asleep in the recliner at around 9:00. Mike feel asleep on the couch around 8:30. Turns out the cold, the rain, the long day, getting all snug and warm, and a couple of Sierra Nevada's Torpedoes equaled You Will Now Sleep.

Which made me a little sad because I was really enjoying this movie!

Thankfully I only have about a half hour left, which I'll be able to finish up tonight.

What I've enjoyed so much so far was how this made-for-TV movie twirled around your finger quite bit before really getting into the juicy stuff. It toyed with you for a quite a while.

Seeing that this was filmed in 1979, there are some clothing and dialog choices that may have you chuckle a little but overall the story-line is a bit menacing.

There's one scene in particular, where the gravedigger is sitting in a rocking chair, that made my skin crawl and had me curl back up in the blankets a little bit.

I look forward to finishing this story and telling you all about it!

Update Update!

So, when I said that I thought I had about a half hour of the film left, apparently what I meant was I have an Hour and a half left.

And I'm happy to announce that it kept getting better! There were some downright scary, disturbing, frightening, and nightmarish scenes in this movie! Everything from the very spooky house to the scenery, to the costumes, to the creature.

Although three hours long, this is a fine fine way to spend three hours. Especially on a dark, nasty night around midnight. However, because it's three hours long, you need some patience. This movie is not recommended for a large group unless that group consists of some hard core Salem's Lot fans.

Dark, unsettling, at points depressing, but also fairly action-packed and edge-f-your seat horror. This is a very well made vampire story! Thanks, Tony!!

PS: This movie made me want to read the book - Really Bad.

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Poltergeist (1982)

Okay, show of hands. Who has never seen Poltergeist. Come on now, don't be shy. We're all friends here... come on now. There are still so many classics I've not - HAA!

FOOLED YOU

I've totally seen this film so many times! HA! But why, why has it taken you (those who raised their hands) so long to see this film? That is the big question. For shame.

In all seriousness, 21 days of horror movies I've never seen before AND so many of them being disappointing - I need some sort of respite.

I needed some sort of safe place to remind me that there are good Honest To Goodness horror movies out there. It's been a tough couple of weeks with my random picks this year...I'll just put it that way. The pickin's at the movie store are running low. I might very well run through their entire Horror section by the end of next year. It could be a painful year...

Which is why I'm turning to a trusted source. A ghostly tale that had horrified viewers for decades. A phenomenal film that has brought us nightmares to pass on to the next generation, and all the generations to come...

I'm talking about the super duper uber classic: Poltergeist.


When I was renting this one from the video store today, guy behind the counter (who is not a horror movie fan, like the ladies there, I'll just add...) was like, "I guess they are making a remake of this film."

OH REALLY, I replied.

"Yeah", he said, "Let's hope the curse doesn't follow them."

Okay. Now you're just getting sad dude. Sad.

But the rumor is true. There is a supposed curse on this film and the actors within. Although I am a hyper big fan of the paranormal, I do not believe in "curses".  It is tragic that some actors in the film suffered terrible, random deaths, I would not call it a curse. I would call it SUPER tragic. Straight up. 

That said, history suggests that a remake of this fantastic classic film would suffer more tragedies than the original. And I'm just talking box office sale here...

I'm not going to post a follow-up review here. I already know the story, and I already know I love it so much. 

The important message is that YOU, those of you who have not seen the film, get going with seeing this film as soon as possible.

It's scary, it really is. It's moving. It's touching. It's disturbing. And, being a paranormal fan, not entirely about a "poltergeist" as much as it is about Really Pissed Off Ghosts.

THIS ONE IS FUN FOR MOST EVERYONE!

Recommended pairing: family dinner, everyone is sitting around being normal. Then someone, anyone, should toss a chair across the room and turn the TV on. Scene goes from there...

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Experiments in Terror (2003)

Over dinner, my brother and Husband were trying to tell me this movie was a 1962 black and white film about an asthmatic crazy man.

I was like, "...no, I don't think so. A photo on the back of the DVD case has a picture of a bloody faced man with fangs..."

Husband, "No, I'm pretty sure we looked this up already. It's a film directed by the same guy who directed the Pink Panther movies."

I was like, "If I remember correctly this is just a collection of horror shorts...some of them are in black and white?"

Money was bet. Imaginary money. but it was still bet. And I Won! This is not the Blake Edward's Thriller classic Experiment in Terror, no. This is Experiments In Terror. As IMDB calls it "A collection of short experimental horror films, some well known, some not." Thanks, IMDB, very helpful.




The back of the DVD case uses such descriptions as:
  • "...perversely unearths a celluloid sarcophagus of horrible..."
  • "...a pathological delirium of witchcraft..."
  • "...a phantasmagoria of the uncanny..."
  • "...a masterful montage of rare film artifacts..."
  • "...profoundly expanding the cinematic language of fear..."

Folks, I have ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA what I'm getting into tonight. Pretty sure the Pink Panther is not in anyone of this shorts...


UPDATE

WHAT?! You can't be serious.

Okay, first and foremost, this is a collection of obscure, avant-garde films. This is very important to know before pushing play on that remote. 

This is the first horror film I've watched nearly entirely in fast-forward. It wasn't fast enough at some points.

Many of these films were created in the '60s. Apparently one of them, The Virgin Sacrifice, experienced several drug overdoses on set. Just. Going. To. Place. That. Right. There.

The rest of the films were not experiments in terror, they were experiments in lighting and sound. I had a headache afterwards. Even in fast-forward mode. At many points I had to look away. MY EYES WERE HURTING SO BAD.

See also: many of these films were created in the '60. Drug overdoses on set. 

My Husband, who has more of an experimental past than I ever ventured in, informed me that these films were created to tap right into an acid trip. He said he knows exactly what these films were intending, and they were absolutely not intended for a couch bound, pajama-clad, 30-something nerd, up past her bedtime. 

The only film I enjoyed was "Ursula". This little mix of Alice In Wonderland Meets Norman Bates's mother was well done.

The rest of these shorts, "Outer Space", "Tuning The Sleeping Machine", "Dawn of an Evil Millennium", "Journey Into the Unknown", and "Virgin Sacrifice" - well, I am glad these records were retained. I really am. The archivist in me will always be glad for that.

But why these films are called "...a phantasmagoria of the uncanny, the dreadful, and the macabre..." I will never understand. I found the most horrifying element of these films to be the history behind them (see also: created in the '60s. Drug overdoses on set.). Which is also why these records must be retained, even if they are not for horror movie viewing pleasure.

No, no, no. I do not understand what makes these films so horrifically special. Unless, of course, you are in the midst of an acid trip or suffering from a deadly fever. Then they might just blow your mind!

I appreciate films that push limits - even if I don't like where those limits go. But I have a particularly low tolerance for films that push limits at the expense of spiritual creativity. By spiritual creativity I'm referring to the inner most part of you that is not hindered or beholden to anything (fear, others, money, drugs).

Horror films in particular, since they tap into some of our darkest places, should not come from a synthetic source. The core of a really good horror movie, in my opinion, should come from something far more organic, ancient, and birthed through a sober eye.

I did not like these films. I'm glad they are available to view, however. I will call them many things but I would not call them Treasures.


Monday, October 20, 2014

The Eternal (1988)

Folks, IMDB is telling me this movie is titled "Trance". The DVD I picked up is telling me it's call The Eternal. I'm going with the latter because sometimes IMDB and I argue...a lot.

Tonight's movie choice was hard! We have two classics (one with a 100% positive rating at Rotten Tomatoes) and then this one.

Here's how IMDB summarizes The Eternal...


"An alcoholic American couple travel to the UK with their son so he can meet his grandmother but they walk in on their crazed uncle who is in the midst of reviving a centuries-old Druid witch."

What the WHAT? Seriously?!  "...crazed uncle who is in the midst of reviving a centuries-old Druid witch?" Folks, this calls for a cat walking backwards:

Seriously, just copy and paste the link. Youtube is not allowing me to embed this one because Youtube:

http://youtu.be/ZhJe6-XCjdI

I only rented this film because it has Christopher Walken in it. And I'm only watching it tonight because I plan on having a super awesome double feature night tomorrow.

So we got chicken tacos (FINALLY) on the menu. See you all after this crazy crazy show. [turns away chuckling] ".... crazy uncle reviving a witch." I would have liked to have heard that movie pitch to the producers...

I suspect This. Will. Not. Turn. Out. Well. On multiple levels...

UPDATE

W. T. F.

I don't understand what happened here. The cat didn't even roll up by our sides until this film was over.

This is one of the strangest films I've ever seen. My Husband and I were both rolling on our sides and sitting on the edge of our seats with jaws dropped.

I have no idea if this movie is a parable about drinking, or a really horrible awful bad story about Irish and their drinking, or a Christopher Walken bet that he lost, but this movie is really one of the strangest movies I've ever seen.

You know what, just watch the cat walking backwards video. JUST WATCH IT. RIGHT NOW.

Okay, now we can continue.

This movie makes 100% less sense than a video of a Japanese cat walking backwards. I. Am Not. Joking.

In fact, here's what you'll say throughout the entire film:

wthbs

The movie is supposed to take place in Ireland, but there is not one Irish person in the whole film. Christopher Walken's character is... how shall I say this... wrong the ways only Christopher Walken can make wrong.

I think everyone involved in the making of this film was Drunk Off Their Asses And VERY Angry About It.

But you know what, alcohol addiction is nothing to laugh about. If that's what this movie was trying to get across then it failed miserably. If it was trying to make light of alcohol addiction then it got first place in the You're Doing It Wrong category.

This movie felt like a terrible 3 day Greek Row booze and drug bender. I've never been in a terrible 3 day Greek Row booze and drug bender - but [claps hands] now I think I can cross that item that was never on my list off.

This is not a good film, no. But this is a very Interesting As Hell film. This is a film to watch with a group of friends looking for an adventure...

This is a film to watch when you believe your life is a little too boring and you're looking for existential reasons for the purpose of big, empty houses and 20 year old records.

This film brought out some of the best in Mike's and my snarky commentary, but it also blew our minds to the point that we needed to watch some of The Walking Dead to come back to reality (and for our cat to come back and sit next to us)

In closing: What. The. Hell. Was. That.

Recommended pairing: Jameson. Jameson. Jameson. If you do not drink then I do not recommend this film - tonight's film is not the night or the reason to start.

Sunday, October 19, 2014

Happy Birthday To Me (1981)

It's been an excellent weekend.

My Husband turned 39. I taught another successful art class. Time with loved ones was had. The weekend was long, loved, short, and sweet. 

And! I'm totally not going to finish tonight's film. Happy Birthday To Me. Seriously, I'd like to spend more time with this one but I know it's not going to happen. 


Reason: I'm going to fall asleep before the show ends. I know it. See you after the show!

UPDATE

As badly as I wanted to follow-up my Husband's birthday weekend with this... I don't know what... it didn't happen. Made it about 30 minutes in - fell asleep.

I really can't tell you what this movie was about because the first 30 minutes involved wealthy students pulling a prank at a bar, scaring this girl nearly half to death in the process, there was a graveyard, and then a creepy father. That's when I fell asleep.

I might try to finish this one up before returning it to the store but I'm not sure I want to. I think I might just leave this one right here... vague, strange, was it a dream?




Saturday, October 18, 2014

Gone Girl (2014)

I know, I know, I know - this is not billed as horror, but let me tell you why it's one of the best horror/thrillers I've seen in a long time:

The book was fantastically horrific. Straight up. It was one of my book club picks and it won everyone's heart (first time ever).  It was so dark and twisted that no one from the book club could get over it. TO THIS DAY, over a year later, we're still all like: that story was messed up. Messed up!

This is a horror movie for married couples. You think you know your partner? Well... just watch this film and see if you feel the same way. Horror. Movie.

The media, police force, commerce. Folks, this story (movie/book) captured some of the most terrifying moments involving all of the above.

Clever, bone-chilling, romantically creepy (then again... I find a lot of romance stories very creepy...) and disturbingly honest, Gone Girl captures all of this and more.


Folks, stories like this create nightmares you didn't see coming. Nightmares! That is why I'm throwing this movie in the horror category. When you find what should be your safest place the most unsafe place - well, that's when you are primed for a horror story.

And I had no idea I was going to watch two horror movies tonight! Hey! Another Saturday Night Double Feature! 

If you've read the book then you will not be disappointed by the film. This is one of the best book to movie film adaptations I've ever seen. Sadly, there is very little I can relay without giving crucial points of the film away. 

My Husband, who did not see the film or have read the book, asked me "So... did the husband kill the wife?" He was so nonchalant, a little too used to the 20/20 and Dateline. Without giving too much away all I can continue to say is: "No. He did not kill his wife". The rest of the story must be seen to be understood on a horror story level. 

You will walk way from this film cold and clammy. There's a chance you might not look at your spouse the same way again....also, there is some blood and guts. Some book club gals had to turn their head. 

Scenery was fantastic, characters spot on. This is a great film for horror movie lovers and non-horror movie lovers. 

Recommended pairing: Watch right after a fight with your loved one. Crepes and candy bars.  If you could have an exuberant purchases or a couple $20.00s laying around in plan view, that would be awesome. 

This is a drama, yes. This is also a thriller. But this is also, straight up, a horror movie. 


The Cat (2011)

It's not even noon on a Saturday and I'm watching today's horror movie.

It appears I'll be running around a lot today (preparing for another art class to teach, Hey!) and I'm going to get this movie in while I know there is plenty of time!

Today's film, The Cat, is a Korean ghost story.


I found it on the top shelf of Rain City Video's new section, underneath a sign that said, "Top Shelf Movies". What does that MEAN?

So I asked. Guy behind the counter said, that it just means they didn't want the film to get over-looked by being hidden within all the big name new films, and that "...it doesn't mean the same as booze. Top shelf booze..."

Ah ha..., I replied. They didn't want it passed over but we might be dealing with some kind of Old Crow story.

Sounds adventurous! It's noon now anyway. Let's go.

I just started the film and the opening scene is of a business that dresses cats in people clothes and puts make-up on their furry little faces. NO NO NO. Two minutes in and I'm already horrified.

Let's see how this one turns out...

UPDATE

Well...let's see. It was, interesting. I've seen better! But it was interesting...

The ending disappointed me, only because I saw it coming from a mile away (as in it's been over done now, too many times).

Most everything but the ghost horrified me. From the grooming shop (make-up ON ANIMALS...bad enough make-up is Tested on animals, BAH, disgusting) to the people and animal abuse (it shook me pretty good). The ghost felt over-the-top and unnecessary.

The story line seemed strained most of the time, and there were quite a few loose ends (bad loose ends, not scary mind-melty loose ends).

In all, this one was okay. If you're new to Asian horror then you may not be as disappointed as I was. If you're looking for something weird and disjointed that involves feral cats then this might be a good fit.

Recommended pairing: cheese and crackers, soup in a bowl that has animal foot prints painted on it.