Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Annabelle (2014)

Today was a bit of a long day, folks. I was really looking forward to rushing home, getting in my PJs, and eating some chicken tacos. The visions were already clear in my head.

I was standing at my bus stop after work when my brother, Matt, texted me and asked if we were still on for a movie show at the downtown theater tonight.

My first thought: damnit! That's right! My second thought:... But PJs and chicken tacos... [sad face]. I am a kind and considerate older sister! Its just that when PJs and chicken tacos get in the head, I'm hard pressed to get the vision/need out. It becomes like a drug.

I call him back: "Hey Matt! Would tomorrow work better -?"

Matt: "No, it wouldn't."

Me: "Ah, oh man, ah..."

Matt: "What is it, Jolie? What - what's going on?"

Me: "Oh man, you see ...ah"

Matt: " Spit it out, Jolie, what's up?"

Me: "Whaaaaaa! PJs and Chicken tacos! WhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaH!"

He said I was too young to want PJs and chicken tacos right when I got home from work, and that I sounded like a drug fiend looking for my next fix.

So we are seeing Annabelle tonight!

Folks, spending time with family is more important than PJs and chicken tacos. At least for a 35 year old, apparently. We might need to reevaluate this in another year...

See you after the show!

PS: Matt and I agreed that he'll be providing the final update on this film. He'll be able to properly relay how we both felt about Annabelle. Though, I want to add that there were points where we both started laughing so hard that I thought I might need to run out of the theater before people started throwing popcorn at us. Instead I just slunk down in my chair and held my mouth and sides. And yet, there were nightmare worthy moments that required a beer (or two) to wash away. These scenes will creep back into your head though, once the beer wears off...

Take it away Matt! And thank you for being such a kick ass brother!


Dolls = scary, demons = scary, dark basements = scary, ritualistic murders = scary, crayon drawings = silly.  Annabelle is a movie that contains all of the above items, and by doing a little bit of math, you can figure out that this movie is 4 parts scary to 1 part silly.  This is not necessarily something to criticize though, since a little bit of silliness is usually welcome in a good ol' fashion horror movie.

If you've watched any of the other James Wan/Blum House production, this movie will give you exactly what you've come to expect.  Insideous, Sinister, Conjuring, etc, all have pretty much the exact same template.  Lingering shots of creepy items that do nothing, shots of a room where a apparition appears but the protagonist is looking the other direction, and stuff that make a unique sound you just know is going to go off later in the movie with nobody touching it!  Pretty standard stuff, but, dammit, I can't let it pull me in.

If you want a synopsis of the movie, then too bad.  You already know this movie anyway.  Possessed doll, young couple, yada yada yada, who cares.  What I want to talk about is the fantastic baby acting in this movie.  I'm pretty sure Daniel Day-Lewis may have gone through some massive physical transformation and turned himself into a baby, because he/she is that good.  I'm not trying to be facetious either, this baby was really good!  There's no IMDb credits for baby, so unfortunately I can not set up any alerts for when his/her next movie comes out. Dang.

As far as the infamous crayon drawings go, let me explain.  The young couple with a baby, John and Mia, find a series of 4 crayon drawings, supposedly made by some neighbor kids, depicting a woman crossing a road with a baby carriage.  Each drawing had the mom and baby progressing across a road, and a semi truck getting closer and closer.  When they pick up the final drawing and it shows, rather comically, the truck having run over the carriage, and red crayon all over the paper, Jolie and I just kind of lost it.  We laughed for a good couple of minutes after that.  I can see how it was suppose to be funny, but that fact that it was crayon, that the progression was obvious, and that lack of any real concern by the parents made the whole thing just silly.  Luckily, a few scenes later was the mother trapped in the basement with a demon scene, which was TERRIFYING.

I'll give it a 6 out of 10.  I say check it out, but honestly a DVD rental would be appropriate.  Do turn off the lights though.

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