Because ...thank you! Thank you for this beautiful mess that is Spider Baby.
This movie is like a cream pie in your face, a jump into ice water after 15 minutes in the sauna, tripping up the stairs in front of your high school crush, falling down the stairs in drunken stupor at your work holiday party, getting hit by a car and then laughing about it later because you're totally okay, stepping in dog poop while wearing someone else's shoes, eating a bug on a dare, taking a nap in your car and waking up in the middle of of an impound lot, ordering the local delicacy and then finding out what it actually is - This Movie Is An: ADVENTURE!
This movie will and won't make sense. It crosses boundaries, treads in mosquito infested waters, and it will keep you on your toes like your omnipresent and hilarious older brother who is always threatening to fart on your head.
I speak metaphorically, but I do so to help get you in the head space you need to enjoy this film thoroughly.
Spider Baby is very fun, very silly, very dark, and just what you need. Watch it here now, compliments of the Internet Archive. If you've never thanked me before, you can do so now:
PS: Recommended food and beverage pairing? Well, I've been struggling with this for a day now and I don't have much except try one or all of the following:
Fruit that is just about to go bad - in like, hours; steak tartare; anything from the raw food diet, lots of bad wine, or just set a 12 pack of Miller Lite and some FunYuns or super puff Cheetos knock-offs on your stomach while reclining and you should be good.