Saturday, May 16, 2015

The Yellow Wallpaper (2012)

My turn to host book club this month and I decided on two short stories: The Yellow Wallpaper by Charlotte Perkins Gilman (Stetson), and The Lottery by Shirley Jackson.

Both masterpieces of the macabre, brilliant works of art, and written by two different phenomenal voices for women's rights.

So when I recently re-read The Yellow Wallpaper, a memory I'd tried to repress suddenly came back with a heinous fury: the 2012 movie version of The Yellow Wallpaper.

I don't know what creative writing hell the story line for this movie was formed in, but I've been trying to forget I'd seen it ever since that fateful Saturday afternoon (years back) when I saw the poster image:

"Hmmm - looks alright. I like the color usage, seating arrangements - might be worth a try..."  Those were my actual thoughts. I have no idea what happened to my logic that afternoon but I've done my best not to let seating arrangements and color usage fool me into watching a random movie pick again (and so far so good).

As I said earlier, Gilman's short story is a masterpiece. A masterpiece revolving around the horrific ways in which Victorian era women were treated by science, society, and in marriage.  I assumed that since The Yellow Wallpaper is a masterpiece with a true and powerful social commentary, no one would be foolish enough to rip it apart and turn it into a giant pile of cat puke.


That said! If this movie was not billed as an "origins" story (about The Yellow Wallpaper and the writer), then I wouldn't be giving it such a scathing review - I would have just given it a bad review.

I did not care for the dialog, or the acting, and although the scenery and setting was alright it was the story line that set me right off into hysterics, climbing the walls and begging to be let out (see what I just did there?).

I don't do this often, but I feel it's necessary to tell you exactly why I hated this movie so much and it's going to involve some spoilers. This movie is not some sort of tribute to the short story but an abomination that I think would have Gilman spinning in her grave.

This movie is about some form of vampires. I'm not kidding you. VAMPIRES. It also has a loving husband, and a daughter that went to Hell after burning in a house fire, apparently. Bonus Medieval knights and other random people for reasons I'm still not be sure of.

I went so far this morning as to re-watch the film (in super fast forward) to be sure I was remembering correctly how much I did not like the movie - to be sure I wasn't loosing my mind (See! I did it again).

nope animated GIF

And that is why, if this movie wasn't attempting to rip off a masterpiece, I wouldn't have hated it so much. It just would have been another movie with a strange and confusing plot line.

Very rarely do I despise a movie so much, but this one got to me - it got under my skin and began to drive me a crazy. Now I feel I need to rip it apart before I can leave it alone.

....and I think I'm done now. I've said my piece and peace. Never again will we cross paths 2012 movie version of The Yellow Wallpaper. Done.

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