Monday, March 24, 2014

The Immortal Augustus Gladstone (2013)

Tonight my husband and I took a much anticipated stroll through the warmth and sunshine of the coming Spring weather when we stumbled across a Missing Person sign in the middle of our neighborhood.

Oh no! Was my first thought, as we investigated the very large neon green/yellow sign stapled to a post, and examined the description of the missing person.

The picture portrayed someone who appeared both female and male (at first glance), with the following details:

"Bald, wears blond wig and tennis shoes, Approximately six feet tall and two hundred pounds, last seen in Portland, Oregon in 2011, believes he is immortal."

Oh no!! Was my second thought, thinking kind neighbors and acquaintances were sending a search party for someone with mental issues.

Because that happens in our neighborhood. Over the years I've heard of and seen the posters for many kind, lovable yet mentally unstable people who wander off one day and are never seen again. It's sad, terribly sad. Some have family around, many do not. These people are simply lost, forgotten, and disappear with little recognition they ever existed. My heart hurts for them, their families, for all of us.

As I was staring at this poster, trying to understand what was being said, my husband leans over my shoulder and says: "Bunch of promotional bullshit." and walks away.

What, what, what?! I say, pointing to the sign. Has the man lost his mind? He walks back and points to a web link that looks suspicious, sitting at the bottom of the poster. After a minor dispute I look up the link and sure enough, the poster we stumbled upon is not about an actual missing person but a promotional movie poster about a fictional documentary regarding a supposed vampire, The Immortal Augustus Gladstone.

I hadn't heard of this film until I ran into the poster, so good on them for getting the word out on this independent film but thumbs down for the promotion.

This will be my first review on a movie I have not, nor are there plans to, watch. This is a review on the movie's horrible promotion. Tricking people into noticing something is one thing. Tricking people into reading a Missing Persons poster only to discover that the person is not really missing - just so people read it: Bad Form. Bad, bad form.

I applaud the idea behind the quasi horror mockumentary, I despise what has been done with it as far as advertising goes. It's a shame too, sounds like it might have been interesting. Now it just smells of foul douchebagery.

Missing persons is no joke. Absolutely no joke. That heartbreak shouldn't be used to promote a movie.

Good luck with your film, guys. Fire who ever came up with this movie poster idea. Thumbs down.

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